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If uv gotten out of a relationship of marriage or with a significant other who was extremely controlling did your partner have the finances all in their name as account owner of whichever accounts?

what does someone do when there's No money of their own and a marriage is beginning the end? there are No accounts in Only my name. he's very controlling financially.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Apr. 29, 2017 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • A friend of mine opened an account in her name only, got a post office box, and had the bank statements sent to the post office box. She saved little by little until she had enough to put a deposit on a small apartment. Now, she was working so she had that income to support herself when she did leave. She also saw a lawyer when the time to leave got close. GL. Hug
    silverbuttons

    Answer by silverbuttons at 10:56 PM on Apr. 29, 2017

  • You need to get hold of his bank statements. Half of the money is YOURS no matter whose name is on the account. Talk to a lawyer about this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 AM on Apr. 30, 2017

  • I agree with the above replies. Talk with a lawyer as well as get some bank statements. Also get an account in your name only and deposit in there whatever you can.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:06 AM on Apr. 30, 2017

  • I don't understand how why it any money in joint accounts can be mine its not mine in that I didn't earn the money any of it I haven't worked for decades Decades he's removed me from joint credit accounts and he was allowed to do that because only one person allowed to be account Owner other person is account holder when joint and allowed to use account whether checking saving or credit account. if he found out I have an account he'd shut everything down when he gets mad he opens up new emails for himself and shuts me out of finances he owns every account every account.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:59 AM on Apr. 30, 2017

  • hope no one no other wife, mother ever as lost as me. should have saved my own money starting long ago never thought he'd treat me as he has. anyone who reads this if you don't have your own money even tiny set aside to build up start it. help yourself for the unknown.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:27 PM on Apr. 30, 2017

  • Many lawyers give a complimentary consultation. Also there are women's shelters and your state has women's resources that can help you. If you don't want searches found on your computer go to your public library and use their computer to search for resources in your state/ town.
    silverbuttons

    Answer by silverbuttons at 2:42 PM on Apr. 30, 2017

  • Thank you silver button and bmat and anonymous also thank you thank you.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:53 PM on Apr. 30, 2017

  • You may not have earned the money but half of everything gained during your marriage is yours (including his retirement fund). You are not a slave you are a partner in your marriage. And depending on the state you're living in you could be entitled to spousal support too. Please research the divorce laws for your state. You have a right to a lot more than you know...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Apr. 30, 2017

  • Make copies of any bank account statements if you can and have a friend hold on to them if there is no safe place to keep them. At least have the account numbers. You will need this info.
    silverbuttons

    Answer by silverbuttons at 6:26 PM on Apr. 30, 2017

  • someone told me that in my state maybe it everywhere I don't know and in I'm not saying its unreasonable I'm just saying a long time go someone told me this that since he earns the money or even if I did and he didn't earn anything that when retirement is reached done that support alimony is n't paid anymore. I don't know how his retirement is maybe its that he supposed to get a certain amount a month or a year and then not any tie next year or the next month I know of course it wouldn't be daily income released from retirement even for him. and I am not I ;am not greedy but for all that he knows for the years I been married and the times iv rushed him to the hospital e r and taken care 24 7 our kids I just don't understand how come he won't share retirement planning with me if he dies and I survive even us two living I just don't understand how why he wouldn't want me to know how to plan financially specially he still here.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:53 PM on Apr. 30, 2017

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