Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Suddenly she's insecure....

Sooo my daughter is going through this negative self image stage and I dont know how to get her out of it.

-Fact- 1. she top of her class for reading
2. Second top for math
3. honor roll
4. size 7/8 tops && dresses
5. size 8/10 bottoms
-2wks ago she was 7, /7/8 bottoms
negative image
1. thinks shes stupid
2. thinks shes dumb
3. thinks shes ugly
4. thinks shes fat.

&&&& to top things off when trying on leggings together today, i was talkn to my bestie, my daughter looks up to her... & she was telling her that shes not fat and shes beautiful.. she asks her daughter do you think Jojo is fat......😣

&&&&& i wanted to smack my god daughter as my daughters face dropped when she said yes!!!!!!! This girl is her best friend... 😤

my kid's day went down hill from there.
---shes super insecure right now from going up a size in the last two weeks.... her hips popped out....

Ughhhh in private on the way home we had a positive conversation w/ my kid about how god made her intelligent, considerate, kind and beautiful. &&& kids at her age are mean.
ive always asked her are these things that they say true.. && she'll say no. and i go good its only true if YOU believe it. think good things about yourself because people are mean.

but she still isnt believing good of herself, what can i do?

Answer Question

Asked by jlouise03 at 10:10 PM on May. 27, 2017 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 9 (349 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Well let's start with the way you speak, or type in your case. You sound like a teenager yourself. Grow up and use adult language. Be adult enough to talk to your daughter. You have to set a good example. That means, in your grammar, your dress, and your general way of living. No matter what you say to your daughter, if you don't set the stage, nothing will matter in the end.

    Let's start with you growing up. Your "bestie'? That is child speak. You might get some counseling on how to raise children, maybe even how to be adult.

    I trust that you are providing a good education for your children? You have a job and are showing them how to become independent adults, free of living off the system? Do you provide literature to your daughter? Maybe you could find a good, strong, independent woman to be her role model?

    To sum it up, your daughter gets most of her confidence from you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on May. 28, 2017

  • @ Anonymous one
    Nicely put anonymous :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on May. 29, 2017

  • what does proper grammer have to do with asking for advice to help a 9 year old feel less insecure. She's not reading this. As for bestie, that is the term, My daughter just got tested gifted and is top of her class for math, language arts and reading.. so of course she's getting a good education. I've instilled confidence in her since she was little. My issue is she is 9, and this is the age where what your friends say matter. Shes suddenly feeling insecure and i'm not sure on how to help besides talking to her. I dont want to ban friends.

    Comment by jlouise03 (original poster) at 1:35 PM on May. 29, 2017

  • Read some books from the library about self esteem. Read about it online at reliable resources. There are all sorts of things you can do to help her. Your bestie should never have asked a child that question. GL

    Answer by silverbuttons at 3:49 PM on May. 30, 2017

  • Studies show that young girls feel the best about themselves at age 9 and that their self esteem tends to drop from there. If she is already having issues then it is imperative that you both take a hard look at where the negative self talk might be coming from (things she hears you say about yourself or her, things her friends say, perhaps the emergence of a mean-girls type friend in her group, etc) and that you seek counterbalance ASAP. I strongly recommend that you set her up with a childrens'/family counselor. Very often our children find it easier to talk to someone besides us. This way she can hopefully get some coping skills before this gets out of hand and she develops an eating disorder or other self harm behaviors. It is important that she never hear body shaming in your home, either of her or yourself. It sounds like you want to help her, and that is good, but it is also important to know when to seek help elsewhere.

    Answer by w0nd3rbr3ad at 9:31 PM on Jun. 1, 2017

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.