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Feelings on parenting books.

I was taking to this lady at work who is pregnant with her 1 st child and she mentioned to me today that it was a good thing that there was no set way to parent because everyone was different. I agreed with her and added that I was sure that was why there was so many different parenting books too and suggested that she should read through several of them so she could pick and choose what she liked out of all of them. She got defensive and jumped me saying she didn't need any book or anybody to tell her how to be a mom and that she knew exactly what she was doing and how to raise a child. I said ok and kept walking because I was not trying to make her mad. I was shocked! I thought everyone read parenting books or did something for guidance asked a friend or something. I figured it didn't matter how maternal you were that every one need a little help now and then...How do you feel about books or asking out side help

 
But_Mommie

Asked by But_Mommie at 8:33 PM on Feb. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 44 (181,645 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I read them now and again. I don't take everything they say to heart but you can get some good ideas about discipline etc. No one is above learning something new, not even super mom.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 9:52 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I think she is wrong. The most ignorant thing you can say is that you know everything and don't need help. She will be shocked to find out what raising a child is really like and hopefully seek help. Humans have maternal instints, but that doesn't mean we automatically know everything.
    AnnaMac

    Answer by AnnaMac at 8:38 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I love parenting books!!! but i'm also an ECE student major so maybe that's just my thing. But to me it does make sense that every mom would need a little help now and again. Sometimes i get really irritated reading some of these questions that moms on here ask bc it's like if they would've just read a few books i (and many other ppl as well) wouldnt have to explain the same answer to 30 different moms bc they would've already found what would work for them and their family in a book. (in most cases, not trying to generalize here. not all books have the right answer for each individual family).
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 8:38 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Funny how it is always the first time moms or even people without kids who know everything, isn't it? She will learn the hard way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I dont care for the books part, but do like to know what other moms go through, I had younger brothers and sisters and a crappy mom so I learned early how to raise kids, Didnt you know the only perfect parents are the ones that are NOT parents yet..lol She will be asking for help, we all do at some point
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:41 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I know the first time she ask me anything it is going to be all can do NOT to say 'you don't need me telling you how to be a mom remember... lol I dunno
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:42 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • So, so true outstandinglove!! I am so surpirsed that many moms don't know the most basic things about babies, children, and pregnancy. The smartest thing you can do is learn. I cannot understand spending nine months pregnant and not learning a thing about my baby. It is dumb to wait until baby arrives to panic and realize you don't know what to do.
    AnnaMac

    Answer by AnnaMac at 8:44 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I read every single book while I was pregnant && subscribed to every magazine, but honestly, you learn with experience. Did I eventually let my child start sleeping on his back though everything I read begged me not to? Yes. && I let him have a pillow && a blanket. But that's cause I knew my son well enough to know he was okay to use those things. The book didn't know && couldn't know that. But that friend of your's definitely needs to chill out. I still consult the books when I'm not sure about something (I especially did this when I was breast feeding), but that doesn't mean I have to do exactly what they say.
    Blueberryplz

    Answer by Blueberryplz at 9:06 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Books and even parenting classes are GREAT! It doesn't mean you have to follow it, just get different ideas and find out what works for you and your family.

    We do have great family books on our website www.cjkidz.com (CJKidz Favorite Things, choose the Parent's Favorite Things) or cut and paste this link http://astore.amazon.com/wwwcjkidzcom-20?node=18&page=1

    Look through the different books....teaching kids about money, talk so they will listen, Sneaky chef, Setting Limits and lots more...check them out.
    momjs

    Answer by momjs at 9:39 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I remember getting some helpful advice, tips, and suggestions from parenting books, but I also relied on other monthers' experiences and advice from my Dr.
    cristie1276

    Answer by cristie1276 at 9:44 PM on Feb. 23, 2009