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How can i get my 3 yr old to stop talking back?

i have a 3yd old little girl that has such a attitude problem already.. her mouth is horrible.. she doesnt curse but just what she say and how she says it is bad enough.. she doesnt listen. when i tell her to do something she will yell at me and tell me no that she doesnt want to do it and then she will go in to im not talkin to u anymore leave me alone.. and it just continues.. i dont know what to do anymore.. i have tried the time out thing, spankings, talking to her doesnt help at all... please someone help me beofre i lose my cool...

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Asked by faithsmama1208 at 9:29 PM on Feb. 23, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (9)
  • I'm in the same boat. I have a 2 AND 3 year old and my eyes are twitching by the end of the day lol

    Answer by damira at 9:31 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • i dont going through it with my 2 year old..i so wish i had some Dr. Phil smarts right now. he drives me crazy he calls me "stupid" and "i dont want to" ect. he doesn't cuss either..if you find a site please e-mail it to me...

    Answer by arkansasmommy21 at 9:37 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • OH my daughter to. She even sticks her tongue at me. So that happened and I lightly slapped her mouth and told her that is not acceptable and I don't want to see her do that again. Well, ladies that was the first and last time she did that. I think it more caught her off gaurd then actually hurt, but she knew I was mad and it wasn't going to fly. She doesn't quit talk back but she doesn't listen when I tell her to something. It's frustrating and hopefully it's a phase. (wink, wink)

    Answer by racingmomma at 9:43 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Make sure when you are talking to her you are at eye level and looking directly in her eyes so she knows she has your full attention. If you need to stop what you are doing to get eye that. Set a consequence for her action. Talk to her about it in advance and let her know if she acts up...this will be the consequence. Then if she does act up, remain calm (don't yell) and tell her she now has the consequence. Stick to it! In the meantime take breaks for yourself (time out with your friends or for yourself so you dont wear down).

    We do have some great parenting books on (CJKidz Favorite things page then select Parent's Favorite Things or cut and paste this link

    Answer by momjs at 9:52 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • im in the same boat as the first poster..i have a 2 AND 3 yr old 3 yr old isnt quite as bad as yours but she drives me nuts and im also having ahard time getting her And her mocking bird sister to listen to me..and to make my situation even worse, ill be adding another sister to the mix in april.

    Answer by tnteaton at 11:09 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • When my 4 almost 5 year old step son gets to the point where he isn't listening or taking me seriously, he goes upstairs to his room for nap time. I do not always get at eye level with him when I am telling him to or not to do something, but when he is starting to get bad, I tell him to come here and I get at eye level. If he doesn't come he tends to get in more trouble. I try no to yell (not always successful), but when I am talking with him at eye level, I always use a firm voice. After he is done being in trouble (time out, nap, etc.) I talk to him again, but more pleasant. We go over what it was that he did that upset me or that was not acceptable. He does get spankings sometimes. I know not everyone agrees with spanking...however, this was estabilished before I was in the picture. When, I first came into the picture he was 3, I had to work with both him and his sister on what is respectful behavior and what isn't.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 10:33 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • cont....
    I also had to explain how it is hurtful to be disrespectul and not okay. They had a problem with laughing at you when you were telling them something serious or even getting in trouble. They have improved a lot. My SS is still a boy and still 4, but he understands better and doesn't talk back - well sometimes, but that is normally when he is coming back from being with his mom. thats a whole different

    Answer by aly38914290 at 10:35 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Oh how I have been there and now my oldest is going to be 13 yrs soon and the other is 10 yrs.
    I learned to do the eye level thing quickly.
    First, I had a very short 'speech' where I'd say what will happen if they didn't behave.
    Second, when the behavior continued a privilege was taken away. Third, when said privilege was taken away a tantrum was certain to follow which included more arguing from the child(ren) and so I'd pretend to turn off my ears and not acknowledge the back talk.
    And heck yeah, that trying to keep my voice down is hard but it's important to try.
    For my own kids spanking doesn't help.
    Eventually that kind of stuff has become less an issue. But now mine are tweens and it started again. So I have returned to my former tactics and it's working!
    Hang in there!


    Answer by saltycoqui at 11:45 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I know this is going to sound completely impossible and all... But what worked and still does for me. 1) When the bad temper comes out in any way - mommy goes into complete ignore mode. 2) After weeks of her getting the idea she is not getting ANY attention from it, I start the next step. Learning how to communicate nicely to get that attention. When she is now calm, turn everything off, sit in a spot with no toys. And talk eye to eye. Listen, explaine that the temper was wrong, and have her say sorry. Keep it short. 3) After this becomes habbit and routine, start the last step as she gets older and able to HEAR your words. "That was wrong but talking it right. (Or) It is okay to be mad but talk to me next time instead of......"

    Answer by motherabc at 9:41 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

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