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having baby #2

Im so excited about having another baby, but at the same time I am so nervous about the affect it will have on my 19 mth old daughter. Im 38wks and the closer i get the more i wish it just wasnt happening. I feel like im gonna be taking time and attention away from my daughter way too soon (this pregnancy wasnt planned) and its not at all fair to her. i dont want her to end up resenting me for it. It is already hard enough to play and spend time with her while pregnant ( being tired all the time, emotional ect.) and her daddy isnt here right now and wont be till next month, so all she has is me. I can t imagine how hard its gonna be with a newborn.... Does anyone else feel this way or am i just crazy? and what are some things i can do to make the transition easier on my daughter so she doesnt feel jealous or left out?

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mrs.cooley

Asked by mrs.cooley at 4:36 AM on Feb. 24, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (6)
  • I feel the same way. I was due on the 22nd, and still haven't had my baby. My dd turns 13 months today. My DH and I worry about taking attention from her, but we are hoping to be able to manage paying equal attention to all 3 of our children. My SIL's kids seem to be fine with the attention she gave them and they aren't even a year apart. So, hopefully after a little time to adjust we will learn to juggle being mommies to babies so close together.
    LolosMom

    Answer by LolosMom at 4:41 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I recently went through a "scare" myself.. and dont get me wrong... I want more children but my daughter is only 5 months old!! And I want to spend as much time as I can with her and getting to know how to be a good mommy.
    anyways... my mother actually had two more children when I was in my teens ... and they were born in the SAME calendar year (Irish Twins). I remember her explaining to the older one that the new baby was "her baby". It made my oldest younger sister more accepting of the youngest sister.

    Let your oldest feel like the new baby is for her... not just for you and your hubby. I think that would make her feel more a part of it instead of "odd man out"

    Good Luck and Congrats
    GA_GiRL0920

    Answer by GA_GiRL0920 at 4:46 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • My kids were 14 months apart. We were told we didn't have such good odds of EVER getting pregnant, but were thrilled when we did, even so close together. I felt the same way the last few months - like I'd robbed our daughter of attention, this pregnancy took away from her babyhood, it wasn't fair to her, etc. She loves her baby brother and I'm now so happy. They are 22 months and 8 months and they love each other, they even have this way of communicating that's like their own little language and it's funny to watch them together. I truly think regardless of your situation and what you do, we all second guess ourselves and feel guilty about our decisions and we need to stop it and just enjoy the blessings we have!
    skippy123

    Answer by skippy123 at 5:37 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I feel the same way! My dd is going to be 16 months old when I have baby #2( boy) . We play every day, and her daddy is home after work everyday, which is a plus, but I am not sure how to give her the right attention after I have him. I am going to be having a csection on March 24th, and wont be able to lift her for like 6weeks.:( I hope she does well with the transition.
    jessduncan77

    Answer by jessduncan77 at 7:45 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • i have a 20 month old son and am 3 months pregnant baby number 2 is due in august which will make my 1st 26 months when the baby is born. i was concerned about my son being jeoulus of this 2nd baby so i just asked his pediatrician about it she suggested getting a baby doll for him so that when i am doing things with the baby like changing diapers and feeding he can pretend with his baby doll. its suppose to make them feel included in what going on with the baby. keep in mind all children will probably get a little jealous so you cant prevent it just do your best to give both children attention im sure youll do just fine hope this helps
    kaszilynn88

    Answer by kaszilynn88 at 9:45 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • DD was 5 when DS was born. One thing I read that really helped is to give your older kid attention and love first. The baby won't remember having to wait a minute and the older one won't feel slighted. Babies don't do much for the first year (as you know) so you still have all that time to focus on your first and help her adjust while also tending for the baby.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 11:02 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

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