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Are we wrong?

My dd has been selected to do "Battle of the Books" where they pick 14 books over a months time that are pre-selected (which we aren't fond of) in competition to practice strategies for competition. It's a lot of work. The teacher didn't ask us, just our dd. She told the teacher yes. We were upset because it wasn't asked of us for such a commitment and it is an after school commitment also and told her no. Are we wrong? Now the teacher is upset with us and we feel she was in the wrong by not coming to us w/this.

 
cat4458

Asked by cat4458 at 9:37 AM on Feb. 24, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 14 (1,662 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I've actually participated in this program and it was really fun so if you find a way to work it out, it might be a good experience for her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Your daughter wants to participate in a reading program...I can't imagine why you wouldn't be happy. Let her do it...it'll be good for her. She's old enough to make some of her own decisions now.
    StarLee

    Answer by StarLee at 9:46 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Being that is part of her education I would be willing to do ANYTHING & EVERYTHING for my dd.. I do however that you are upset that she didn't talk to YOU first.. Give it a chance to work, see how it goes.. Maybe it will be a good thing... I do wish her luck!!
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 10:18 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • **however UNDERSTAND*** sorry for the typo.. :(
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 10:20 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I understand that you feel like afterschool committments need to be cleared with you since you have to provide transportation, but you need to be supportive here. My parents were strict about afterschool stuff and didn't provide a lot of assistnace with getting me home afterwards. I never got to do anything until I was old enough to get myself home, and I feel like I missed out on a lot because of it. If you don't want her to do it because you can't get her home at the time she gets out, try to arrange for another mom or teacher to bring her home. Don't just nix something educational she wants to do.
    Danielle720

    Answer by Danielle720 at 10:22 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • It's 14 miles away to her school too. With it being after school as well.
    cat4458

    Answer by cat4458 at 10:30 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • It starts at 6 pm which means she has 1hr 10 min ride on the bus, is home for 1 hrs and we turn around and drive back to school for a month. It's a commitment for the parents as well and to not be asked by the teacher is pretty bad, we think.
    cat4458

    Answer by cat4458 at 10:35 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I understand being upset that you werent asked. I would actually think that there would need to be some sort of form for a parent to sign off on. The program sounds pretty neat though. I would take the advice one of the other mom's said. Try to talk with some of the other mom's and see if there is anyway that you guys could carpool or something. It is only a month so I would definately go ahead and let her do it. However, I would make it clear to the teacher why you were upset and that you need to be contacted about any afterschool activities because of the different reasons you have. If it is important enough to your daughter, it should be important enough to you to try and make it work.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 10:48 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Okay, why do you want to be upset? Your issue has to be with your daughter not the teachers. She should have asked you first before SHE said yes. Why is it the teachers responsibility to ask you first? They invited your daughter. It is her job and responsibility to get the ok from you, not theirs. This is part of the growing up process. Yes it is a commitment for the parents too, everything your children do is. I would say you are wrong to be upset with the teachers. There are options. You could let her stay after school if there is a facility, library something, where she will be safe until the event begins. Maybe another parent lives closer and can let her come over until the event starts at 6. You could offer to drive home after. Yes it may require you to do something inconvenient. Is it important to your daughter? Can she handle the extra work?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

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