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What do I do? Romantic feelings for another man...

I have a man at work that my coworkers call my work husband. We work four 12 hour night shifts every week, always together, for 2 yrs.

In the last few weeks our relationship has changed. I admit that I am attracted to him. I am having romantic feelings for him. Dreams. He has admited the same for me in an email last night.

My marriage is horrible, my DH hasn't touched me in years. No sex. No kissing. Nothing. If I try, he rejects me. I have tried alot. He is a stay at home dad cause he is partialy disabled and can't work due to his meds. We are like roomates w/kids. The only thing we do is fight.

This man and I are both married and Christians. I don't want to destroy my family, or his, but I don't know what to do about how we feel? I can't leave my job or not work with him , neither can he. We are both sole support for our families and in college.
What do I do about everything?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Feb. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Keep the relationship professional. The feelings you have for him, real or not, are not appropriate and if you do not fuel that fire, they will go away. Stop thinking about things like this and just keep it professional. Do not cheat and tell him there is no chance anything is going to happen so move past it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I know you say your miserable- have you tried talking to your hubby and tried making things work? If you have tried EVERYTHING, why not be happy? I know you say your a christian- but I couldn't imagine being miserable in my marriage.

    Answer by krazyash023 at 11:12 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • You sit down with this man,,and say nothing will ever happen between us. You will just have to learn how to deal with your emotions. How you feel about him..Just remember having an affair or cheating is not an option..


    Answer by louise2 at 11:16 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Go rent the movie "Fireproof". Watch it with your hubby. THEN do the "Love Dare". Start today. It works. Take it from a woman on the verge of divorce a few months ago, who is now VERY happily married. It works.

    Answer by mommy22miracles at 11:42 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Stop thinking about him. You can control your thoughts. Every time the thought of him comes into your head, replace it with a thought of your husband and how you can make your marriage better. There really are things that you can be doing to make that situation a lot better. Use your time at work thinking about those things. And tell the other guy today that you are not interested and that he should do the same thing that you are doing. Our emotions follow our thoughts and we do have the ability to control them. It just takes practice.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:59 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Mommy22miracles... WAY TO GO, GIRL. We took the challenge, and continue to do the love dare. we're on day 34 the second time through. I believe EVERYONE should take the challenge, even if you're happy in your marriage! It built my DH and I a very strong foundation to grow in, and now that we're almost through our second time, it takes on a whole new meaning for us.

    Answer by matobe at 12:04 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • i totally agree with mommy22miracles

    Answer by CassCass at 12:30 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • is it possible to change shift to minimize the time spent with the guy? Also is your husband depressed because of his diabilities and having to rely on you for sole supporter. It sounds to me that his emotions are taking a beating. You need to be more focused on your husband than the guy you work with. Make sure your never alone with this guy so your not tempted to cheat.
    Sounds to me like you need a long heart to heart with your husband about your feelings, come clean about the feelings you have with this other guy so you can get things out in the open and start repairing your broken marriage.
    Good luck
    * sorry if this sounded rude or snobbish/bitchy that was not my intent.

    Answer by MidnightKarma at 12:30 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

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