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4 kids, anyone?

How many people have 4 kids these days? And how do you afford the cost of having 4 kids and have the time to give all of them the attention they deserve? How easy was it to decide to have 4 kids? And how do you deal with the people who look at you like you're crazy? I just found out that I'm pregnant again and I am so lost as to what the "right" thing to do is. I have 3 kids, ranging in age from 10 years old to 10 months old and my husband is worried about how we would afford to have another baby, not to mention all the attention the baby will take away from the other kids we already have. I think love can carry you a long way but I'm scared that I'm possibly going to really make our lives crazy. The looks I am going to get from people when they find out (this is an unplanned pregnancy, natch, and I'm 40 years old) just makes me feel icky on the inside. The whole situation is driving me nuts because I love children, but...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Feb. 24, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • My fiance and I have 4 between the two of us and a fifth on the way. They are 6, 5, 3, and 2 yrs old. We got some funny looks when everyone heard I was pregnant. Like you though I love kids, and I don't see it as a problem. Once everyone can see how well the kids behave they understand why I have no reservations about having another child. And every child is a blessing, even if unplanned as our next is. Try shopping out of season for clothes, and winter apparel. I usually save big when I buy their winter jackets for next year at the end of winter time, just remember to buy 1-2 sizes bigger. Same goes for summer clothes. Buy at the start of winter when all the summer clothes go on clearance. I love having a big family, the kids learn to responsiblity early when it comes to chores and helping to hold doors, and hands when we go places.
    angel012682

    Answer by angel012682 at 1:46 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Oh please, who cares about what other people think? The only advice I can give you is GOD Provides! Children are blessings. 4 isnt a lot but I know it will be hard. Mine dh wants 4 kids and he already has a son from when he was young. So total 5 kids. I love children, too but 3 is my magic number!
    GOOD LUCK!!
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 12:34 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I dont have four kids in the summer I will have my 3rd baby.But I just wanted I think if you want 5 kids thats your deal.People are mean & hate ful dont let it bug you to much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I have 5 kids and I dont worry about what other people say or think. They are my kids, its my decision, my body and my house. My kids get plenty of attention since they were pretty well spread out. My kids are 19, 16, 15, 9 and 4. The older kids do help some with the littler ones which is helpful. Nothing major but it isnt like just having 3 kids under 2 or something. My teens for instance might fix the littler ones a sandwich if they are making one for themselves. As for affording. I didnt see much diff between 3 and 4, or 4 and 5. You just go with the flow and have to plan just like you are now.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:35 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • My parents didn't want kids at all and when they found out my mom was pregnant with me they were shocked since they used protection. Abortion was NOT an option and neither was adoption . They were both 21 . The kept me and personally were the best parents . THey didn't want to have more after me but come 12 years later my mom got pregnant with my sister. They were 35 . Again no adoption or abortion. For not wanting kids they are the best parents in the world they spoiled us and are always thier when we need them.
    My story doens't have that much of a point just that it's up to you it's life do what you think is right. If you aren't looking to keep the baby please consider Adoption .
    baby1love

    Answer by baby1love at 12:37 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • What do you mean the right thing? You are married, pregnant with your fourth child. Things just work out. You find the money somewhere, you tighten your belts and you just make do.How can you even be thinking anything else??!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • It sounds to me like you are looking for a validatiion on getting an abortion. If you want my honest opinion...I'd get one and get my tubes tied. 3 is enough and with a 10 months old life would be hard. Plus if hubby really don't want the baby it will be hard to say wether or not he will resent you for having another baby GL on whatever you decide
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • My brother and his wife have four children also. They got pregnant at a very young age with their first, then had two more for a total of THREE girls! They ended up getting pregnant again, and finally had a boy, number FOUR. After that, my bro got snipped. Of course, having four kids is a lot of work, but having one or two that are older helps out a lot. My sister in law is a stay-at home mom, and they are all living off my brother's single income. Even so, they take all the help that people offer, and all their needs are met. Dad coaches softball in the summer for extra income and mom sells old stuff on Ebay for extra money. Don't worry, because while all this going on, they are one of the happiest families I know, and the kids develop social skills that they may not get in a smaller family. Believe me, you shouldn't feel bad for having a large family. The rewards will far outweigh the sacrifices you'll make!
    Tylersm0m

    Answer by Tylersm0m at 12:39 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Actually, I was trying to find validation to HAVE the baby so THANK YOU for all your answers, no matter what they said - all were helpful. My husband is about to get his "tubes" snipped and this baby just slipped in through the cracks, so to speak. The biggest issue, I guess, I have is not so much what I want to do but what my husband thinks I should do, his negativity over the issue, and his perception that our lives are now forever screwed. So I just realized that really, I'm not going to find any real answers so much here as I will in my husband's acceptance of what I want to do. Good luck to me and to us. :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Tell your hubby that nothing in this life happens by accident, and that in a few years, he won't be able to imagine his life any other way.
    Tylersm0m

    Answer by Tylersm0m at 12:51 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

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