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How can I help my 4yr old not try to hurt her baby sister?

My 4yr old has ADHD. We keep the baby around in sight every day and night just all the time. But if we ever turn our back for one lil seconds she goes after her and tries to turn the swing over on her. We have done everything that we know of to do and that still doesn't help. Someone plz help!

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Asked by ToshaCooper at 12:30 PM on Feb. 24, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • I have twins...and I think 2 toddlers are about as brutal as an older sibling with a baby lol this may sound harsh..but it was the last alternative I had. Do unto others as they have done to you lol When one twin bit the other one, I'd "bite" her. Just so she knew what it was like. One pulled hair, I pulled hair. etc etc. Now pleaaase keep in mind, I tried everything, and was at a wits end. And yes I was gentle, lol I didn't even leave bite marks or have tuffs of hair in my palm lol I just did it enough to where they knew it was no joke. it only took 1 hair pulling and 1 bite and neither of th etwins ever pulled hair or bit again...ever! they are 5 yrs old now! Good luck~

    Answer by hoping4number3 at 12:56 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • She feels threatened by the baby and all the attention she gets. Do you ever leave the baby with dad and go have one on one time with the older child? If not, start doing this. It'll remind her that you still love her as much as you did before baby #2. When you go out with the oldest, try not to talk about baby, either. Make it just about you two. And make it a regular habit, at least once a week.

    Answer by Tylersm0m at 1:05 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • He probably doesnt realize that what he is doing may hurt the baby. I would talk to him and let him know that it could and also buy some books which are at his level to help him understand. If these dont help, I would put the baby out of reach if possible.

    There are some good parenting books on (CJKidz Favorite Things then click on Parents Favorite Things) Page three has a book called "Siblings Without Rivalry" this is the link too

    Answer by momjs at 3:53 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Here are a few of the books which your daughter might read to help her understand being a big brother or sister.... (Look at both page ( 9 & 10). They are on

    Answer by momjs at 4:05 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I know this is going to sound mean. I had step kids with opposite problems. One was bouncing off the walls and had the attention span of 2 seconds and the other was completely comotos (spelling) no emotions or energy at all... This was our golden rule which worked for both. What you do to others will be done to you. You pinch, I will pinch you. You hit, I will hit you in the same spot---etc... Not to the point where it is abuse but they will stop. If they know that it is comming back to them they will think twice. They will get the idea that it is not a good thing to do it and it hurts feelings.

    Answer by motherabc at 9:25 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I agree with all of you but theres just this problem: I've done everything that was mention and it doesn't work AT ALL with my oldest. I can do what she does to her sister and its like she doesn't have a problem with it.
    Here are a FEW THINGS that she has done to others:
    1. Took a play phone to head start when she was told not to by her gpa (she hid it from him). Went in to school got it taken away. At lunch she bite two kids and had to do time out while the others went out to play. They came back in and she kicked a boy between the legs and blacked a girls eye.
    2. She has gotten mad at a puppy and picked it up swung it over her head a few times and let it go flying through the air.
    3. Her teachers said that Hailey's fine when she's not in a group but when they put her in a group its like a bomb went off.
    We have taken her fav toys away, not let her talk on phone or go places and it still doesn't work.

    Answer by ToshaCooper at 12:31 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

  • I take her shopping, out to eat, to the park, etc and she's fine until we get back home and she starts it all over again. Its like no matter how much fun we have or what we do...its never good enough for her. We know its because she's jealous of her sister. She gets to go places on the wkends and we have even taken that away. When I tell her to do something she just looks at me like i'm stupid and goes the other way. But when her daddy says something to her she does it right then.

    Answer by ToshaCooper at 12:40 AM on Mar. 19, 2009

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