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My 5 yr old girl has been masturbating since she was 3!?

I'm REALLY concerned about this. She started doing it when she was 3.5...and I just summed it up to she was just discovering her body. Had a talk that it's not a good clean thing to keep your hands down there, etc. ANYway..lately (she is almost 5) I have caught her many times huffing it up under her blankets. I'm very nervous about this...she seems WAY too young...and my 2nd thoughts are, maybe some one is messing with her to have her know what it feels like!? I don't know. I have 3 girls, the oldest doesn't do it (or never gotten caught anyway :) the youngest is a baby still. Does this seem way to you young? what would you do...say? I'm really at a loss. I personally don't think masterbating is a right thing to do. But I won't push my preferences on her. I just don't know what to do. she's my baby for crying out loud! lol

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Feb. 24, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (11)
  • well my friends sister started doing that wen her and her friend seen it in a mag ... (the little grl and her friend found it) ... and after that they've been doing it alone and even acting out the things in the mag ... possibly she did see ir or was shown it somewhere if shes always doing it

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I taught kindergarten and had a student that did this. Your daughter simply figured out that it feels good when this place is rubbed. She doesn't understand, at all, why this might not be a good behavior. The parents of my student and I teamed up and started just telling her, "It's okay to do this in your own room, but, like picking your nose, it's something that you should do when you're alone in your room." She seemed to understand that logic a little better. Most likely, your daughter wasn't touched inappropriately, and most likely, she wasn't exposed to porn or something like that, there are just kids that discover that nice spot before others. I think that the more you play it up, the more she may do it.

    Answer by divakristi at 12:59 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • It's a normal phase and she'll soon become disinterested as she grows and matures into different interests. Just be sure you don't "shame" her for it, or she'll associate sex with shame later on. I would distract her with more exciting things and try not to acknowledge it TOO much.

    Answer by Tylersm0m at 1:00 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I think some girls just figure it out and do it. When I was a kid I used to push a stuffed animal up against my crouch because it felt really good. I had no idea about sex, I just knew it felt good. I have the same concerns, my daughter just turned 3 and she pushes on herself, and cries when I tell her not to. I'm hoping she'll just grow out of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I agree that you should talk to her and just let her know it is something to do in private and alone. You can add that she sould wash her hands if she is going to do this. It is my understanding that it is normal to an extent, if she is withdrawing from other activities just to do this that is not normal. If she just does it now and again when there is nothing else going on, fine. However she should not be interested in doing this to the exclusion of other activities. You can look up other signs of abuse and see if she is showing any other signs, such as an otherwise unexplained change in behavior toward a specific person, (the potential abuser). UTI's, sexual vocabulary that you did not teach her, (like the words penis, or sex, unless you have tought her those words), depression, anger... If she were being abused, it is likely she would display other signs and not just masterbation.

    Answer by AprilD32 at 1:36 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I agree with AprilD32

    Answer by MidnightKarma at 2:28 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • she'll grow disinterested in masturbating?( tylersmom?) I don't think so! I've been doing it since before age 5 and never stopped and I'm in my 50's now and certainly never got disinterested. Just teach her to wash her hands before bed if that is where she does it. If you have the talk again, just tell her it's a private thing and only do it when she's alone. That's what I tell my grandkids when I catch them doing it. It's a very natural thing and it feels great.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:37 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I also agree with April. I would also add that she is never to allow any one else to touch her there and if they try she needs to tell you right away. Don't scare her just make it a fact like hold hands crossing the street.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:10 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • well, i caught her again this afternoon, and thanks to the advice, i talked toher about it. And asked her if anyone touches her where she feels uncomfortable. thank goodness she said no! lol she was really thinking too lol I told her before hand i wouldn't be upset and that she wouldn't get in trouble...and she opened right up. i was molested as a child...and I felt like my mom flew off the handle when I told her years later. so I try to make it a point to not show anger or shame when things like this come up. thanks fellow mommas! i'll probably be talking about the birds n bees with this one a whole lot sooner than the rest lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:53 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Glad it turned out okay!
    I know exactely where you are coming from. I was molested as a child too, and my mom was less than suportive as well. So I am always worried about my little girl and I have had talks with her too. I just want to protect her, and I am scared of missing a sign or something. So we, as abuse survivors, become hypersensitive to every little thing. We have to relax though, we don't want to transfer our fears to our little girls. (yet one more thing to worry about!)
    Just trust your instincts about people that might be around your little girl, and keep talking to her. Make sure she knows how to say "NO!" and to tell you if she is ever uncomfortable. Child predators tend to target the quiter kids, the ones who don't or can't talk to thier parents. They don't want to be caught.

    Answer by AprilD32 at 2:34 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

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