Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I am so confused and I need help.

I've been seeing this guy for 8 mos now and Idk if I wanna be with him or not anymore. I'm still not over my babys father but I don't wanna tell him that. Its like I wanna be with my boyfriend so I'm not alone but then I'm interested in meeting other guys too. I'm 18 and I'm not exactly ready to settle down quite yet. What should I do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Feb. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • You sound like you have a good conscience and know it's not fair to your boyfriend to keep him around just because you don't want to be alone. He's a good guy, isn't he? Doesn't he deserve a girl that is crazy about him? You staying with him is keeping him (and you) from finding true love. It's time to move on, whether you go back to your old guy or not.
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 1:21 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • If I were you, I would break it off with this guy. Then I would not have a boyfriend at all for a while. I would use that time to really think about what I would like in a man. My first qualification would be that he wants to be a husband and a father. Once you are sure of what you want, then you can begin to watch for those kinds of men. Do not become sexually involved. Once you have done that, you completely cloud your insight into the very things that matter the most in husband/wife relationships. It is not better to have any man than to have no man. You first need to learn who you are or want to be as an independent person. Then you are not constantly looking for someone to complete you. Instead, you are looking for someone who complements you, and that's a recipe for long-term happiness.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:24 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Those sound like good enough reasons to me to break up with him. If you're interested in seeing other guys AND you still have feelings for someone else, it isn't exactly fair to your boyfriend (or to you) is it? Not wanting to be single (especially when your feelings for your boyfriend are fading) is not a good reason to force yourself to stay in a relationship. You're a lovely, young woman. I suggest taking some time to just date (without being in a committed relationship) learn to love yourself as a single woman and embrace being an individual for a little while before settling down.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:26 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I think you should focus on your self and start loving yourself, then you wouldn't feel like you didn't want to be alone. You don't need a man to love you to feel loved. You got to know and see the beauty and wonderful things within you and love you and respect you. Why would you want this drama in your life anyway. Dating different men, and keeping one on a string, there's no benefit from this in the long run. Only short term pleasure but long term, stress, heat ache and hurt. Start spending time with yourself when your not being a mommy and do things for you to make you happy. When you know what it's like to love and respect yourself you'll get a guy who can feel that way about you too.
    raenad

    Answer by raenad at 1:49 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • okay i know alot of woman like this i use to be one.. but being alone is really not all that bad.. and u find the time to work on ur self.. and work on getting over ur feelings
    miss_nevin

    Answer by miss_nevin at 1:56 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • You dont have to commit to anyone until you find the right person. You can date all the men you want and no one will hold it against you. Never settle but if bf works out while waiting for Mr Right to come along, then so be it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:45 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • you should break up with him because it is NOT fair to him if he is "in" the realtionship and you are not
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • You answered your own question "your 18 and not ready to settle down yet".. NEWSFLASH! thats a good thing! Typically an 18 yr. old ( teenager) shouldn't be settled down! Hell! Your not even a legal adult yet! Your brain hasn't even fully finished developing! Take your time. Get an Education. Date different guys, be young and free while you have the chance!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • You probably like the friendship of this guy and its comforting knowing that someone has feelings for you. But, like you said, you aren't ready to settle (especially if you still have feelings for the baby's dad). So, if you still want to see this guy, but want to see other people too, then tell him. He'll either accept it and it'll go on or he won't and you won't be seeing him anymore. But, there will be plenty of guys that are willing to casually date you and won't mind you see other people. I would suggest, however, that until you are ready to be exclusive with one guy, to not bring the others around your kid. Its too confusing for them. But get out and have some fun!
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 8:00 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.