Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

do you think...

..that you cant spoil a baby before their a year old??

I believe we hold our daughter too much so when she screams for attentions sometimes i let her sit there.
My boyfriend does not agree with this he thinks she should have my full attention all the time or she'll have "trust issues" when shes older.

What your opinion?

Answer Question

Asked by lovencasper5307 at 3:51 PM on Feb. 24, 2009 in Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Your bf is right. You cannot spoil a baby. Its a proven fact. You should pick up a parenting book one specifically on early childhood development.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • It is true!! My son is almost 7 months old. I hold him all the time and people always tell me that I am spoiling him. I asked my dr if that was ok to hold him all the time he said it's actually good that I hold him. Babies cannot be spoiled.

    Answer by aznblond9 at 3:53 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • It is impossible to spoil a baby. Your boyfriend is correct. You are wrong. Your baby needs to feel love and be loved and to be held or she will have issues when she is an adult and never have the bond with you that she should. That can affect her as an adult and in relationships she tries to form as she grows older. Pick her up and love her.

    Answer by gemgem at 3:54 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Hold your baby as much as you can. It is good for her and good for you.

    Answer by Bmat at 3:55 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Hmmm, I am torn about this issue everyday. A nurse told me at the hospital that you can't spoil a baby with attention and that they need you. It stuck with me. I have read criticisms of crying it out and the whole "trust issue" argument. I feel guilty letting her cry. The way I figure it, it gets exhausting when she wants to be held all the time, but it is just a phase, and when she gets bigger and doesn't want to be held all the time, I am going to miss when she was little. I say under a year and they still need ulitmate mommy nurturing, so I let her have whatever attention she wants. When she gets older and can understand more, then she will start to learn the lesson that she can't always have everything. Under a year is too young for her to understand though. My dh and I fight about this all the time too, so you are the only couple that has this problem.

    Answer by Danielle720 at 3:56 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • you can spoil a baby befor a year old trust me it was a mistake we made....BABIES need to self sooth its a developmental thing that teaches them that they can figure out whats a serious issue that requires mommy or daddy and whats something that slighlty upset them that they can take care of by now 2yr old doesnt cry or scream for attention...but if he falls and hurts himself or something serious like that he will holler out MOMMY....its ok to let her cry it out sometimes your not a bad mommy and dont let these guys on here tell you otherwise..those who will say negative things have spoiled rotten brats for kids..

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Sorry, typo, I meant you aren't the only couple.

    Answer by Danielle720 at 3:57 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • It is good to hold them all the time but they do need floor time too, if your baby doesnt like to be on the floor get down there and make it playtime together. towards the first b-day babies need that independent playtime normally around 8-9 months they start to play independently but still want you to interact, they also become more aware at this age that you leave a room so keep baby in sight to help with the screaming for mom.

    you can neer spoil a child with too much love and attention.


    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 3:58 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • wow anon 1257 that a very general "spoiled rotten brat" statement. Just as balck and white as that if you dont cry it out they must be spoiled? huh wonder why mine are not brats? i must be the exception to the rule.

    typically spoiling comes in when you give "things" to children, giving love, security and attention to a child is not spoiling them and does not a "rotten brat" make, brats come from parents who give to little time to teach their child manners and correct behavior.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • see && thts exactly what shes doing i give my daughter what she needs and if she screaming her head off and wont stop i try everythin g there is to try and if she doesnt stop when i put her down i know its just that but i odnt think ima bad mom idc what tthey say i never asked who was right && who was wrnog outta me and my boyfriend i simply asked what everyones personal opion was [=

    Answer by lovencasper5307 at 10:50 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.