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Waiting until marriage?

Do you think it's selfish for women to ask a man who isn't a virgin to wait for marriage for anything sexual? My good guy friend has been dating this girl for over a year. She doesn't want to have sex or do anything other than kissing until she's married. But when you ask her about marriage, she says she isn't ready to get married. She keeps telling him to just respect her wishes and not leave her because she loves him. Now in my opinion, she's being a little selfish to beg him not to leave but not compromise on the situation. I am a very sexual person so it's hard for me to imagine a 27-year-old virgin but this situation just seems wrong to me. What are your thoughts?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Feb. 24, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I think that its selfish. This is why...I totally respect her decision to wait for marriage. BUT if she is making this lifestyle choice she must make accomidations for those she is dating. Now, if she was dating this guy with the intention of deciding IF and WHEN she should marry him, then yeah, he should wait for her. But if she has no intentions of getting married then she has an unrealistic wait time. Whats the point of waiting to have sex with this girl if she doesn't even think hes worthy of marrying? If he was a virgin or shared the same beliefs that wouldn't be asking too much. But, I'm assuming hes not and therefore should not be held to the same standards.

    SELFISH!!! IMO....

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 7:34 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I think that if she wants to wait until marriage then shes made herself clear. If hes the right guy then he will respect her wishes and wait, if he has to have sex he will move on. I dont think shes being selfish at all.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:14 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I think it is her decision. There are things in life that you do need to be selfish about, especially when you are young, single, and looking for the right guy. If a man feels a woman waiting for marriage is too selfish he should stand up and walk away. No one is forcing him to wait for her. If she wants to wait till she found the right man and is married, then more power to her. I will admit I regret having sex with the guys who I didn't marry. I wish I could say my husband was the only one.

    Answer by AnnaMac at 4:14 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I think that if he really cares about her he needs to respect her wishes. Sex is not something you have to have. She obviously has made a choice and has informed him of her choice. How is it selfish that she has these kinds of morals? I think it would be more selfish if the guy continually asked her to lower her morals and do things that she has made clear she does not want to do

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 4:52 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • She is not beig selfish, respect her decision.

    Answer by Jeannie29 at 4:52 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • nope not at all.

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 5:01 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Selfish? Did she put a curse on him and force him to stay with her?
    She has more self respect than most women nowadays and if your friend doesn't respect/appreciate that, he can find an easy woman who will give him what he wants

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 5:16 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • wow- no way she is not selfish... he is being rather selfish asking her to compromise her values just so he'll stay.. i bet you that one of the reasons he was interested in her was the whole concept of uncharted territory. Men... sheesh

    Answer by LuckyClown at 7:13 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • She has every right to do as she pleases with her body. Her boyfriend knows the situation. If it is too unbearable for him, he can break up with her. I don't think it is selfish or unfair at all. However, I think the reality of the situation - IF said guy does marry her, I'm willing to bet that their sex life will be pretty awful because the huge expectation she no doubt has put on the act. In my opinion, healthy pre-marital relationships should include sex so that you know the person pretty completely before walking down that aisle. Sex isn't everything in a marriage, but it is pretty darn important if it is not working well in a couple. I also believe that a couple should date 3 months before having sex. That's my opinion!

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:23 PM on Feb. 24, 2009