Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

crazy motherinlaw or just annoying caused by hormones.. ha

so... the time is getting closer as the weeks go by and everyone is excited, naturally. but little things are really bothering me lately. like i keep wondering if my mil is aware that this baby is not hers..
i mean yes she will be left there to be babysat and whatnot but i dont know if she is expecting this to happen right away bc i dont know if that is in my plans. i would feel better if she was left with my mom or sister at my house.. i would know what would be going on there, you know.. is this rude?? i mean i know she is just excited but its kinda to the extreme, and she talks about her unborn granddaughter like its her baby...


:/ maybe im just looking too much into it. and picking at something that doesnt need to be picked.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Feb. 24, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (7)
  • Both, lol you are hormonal and sensitive and MIL is super excited...and possibly crazy ( i don't know her)
    Just don't bring it up until you have set it up with you mom and sister, then IF she asks just let her know that it is easier and more convenient a certain way, but do not offend her... if she acts like she thought she was planned to babysit just chalk it up to misunderstanding and say you didn't want to impose.... but you could certainly use her help next friday when your hubby takes you out to dinner (haha) the day will come when you will be very happy to have such a willing gramma on your side...

    last month i got offended when I put on my facebook status "wondering what to eat, I'm hungry" and my MIL said "as long as it's healthy for my grandbaby".... ggrrrr... like I am going to go eat twenty rare, bloody steaks or something...hehe... pregnancy makes you take things wierd...

    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 6:29 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I feel the same way I would want my mom or sister before my mother in law babysits.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:44 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I know that women are closer to their mothers but please reconsider (unless MIL is a raving lunatic). My grandkids have a several sets of grandparents due to divorce and remarriage. We all call the kids "our babies". It doesn't mean that we don't know who the parents are...we are just acknowledging that they are part of us and our family. They belong to every member of the family in one way or another. In this day and age, kids need as many people as possible to love and care for them. Take it with a grain of salt. As Lucky says, there may come a day when you will really appreciate their love for your child. And congratulations!!!
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 7:39 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I have the exact same feelings on the subject as you do. I feel much more comfortable with my mom watching my baby. For one thing I know how my mom is with the baby and I can also be more pushy with her without feeling bad! With my MIL, I don't know how she is with babies. I have only left my son with her twice and I was very uncomfortable both times. From now on, I'm going to be around when she sees my son. There is no reason why it should be so important to her that I am gone and she is alone with my son unless she knows she will be doing something that I don't approve of if that makes any sense?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • sounds like my MIL- she won't shut up about how my husband and I can go nap while she takes care of the baby, sad part is I have already told her I don't feel comfortable leaving him alone with her (major drug addict in the past) and I know it may sound rude but I have been letting my husband deal with her. Between my uneasyness and my hormones and everything, I have put my foot down with my husband and he can relay the message anyway he likes as long as she gets it... this is your baby, not hers...
    Larsbug

    Answer by Larsbug at 8:06 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • oh man... i am so glad i am not the only one that feels like this. i dont feel so bad now.. thanks ladies!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • If the mother n law was still alive...I would feel the same way. She was a alcoholic in the past and a pill popper, and didnt take care of her own kids...And I know, she wanted us to have a child before she passed, but i always told the boyfriend that I would NEVER be comfortable with leaving her alone with my child. I just could not bring myself to do it. Even though she was doing so much better at the time....anything can turn! And I didnt know her well enough. Although I do wish she was here to meet her grand daughter becuz I think she would be just as excited!!! It's easier to say things like that when they are here, but once they are gone you are gonna wish you gave her more time with your babies!!! Not nec. alone, but just to visit!!! Hang in there mama! The baby will get older and she will start gettin non excited! lol....
    HayHayMarie2009

    Answer by HayHayMarie2009 at 2:36 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Pregnancy
contractions