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Should I tell my mother??

Ok my sister is in a relationship and i dont approve of him at all. He is using her and cheats on her all the time. She recently told me that he has started abusing her and she thinks that its all her fault. She told me to promise not to say anything and that she doesnt want anyone else to know. I feel like if I say something its betraying her trust but Im also scared for her life because my oldest sister was abused for 18 years by her husband put in the hospital a few times by him. I dont want that life for her. She thinks that if she keeps her mouth shut and doesnt say anything wrong it wont happen and like i said thinks its all her fault. Im really scared for her i really am. I know you will probably tell me to run to my mom but I dont want anything to happen to her once he finds out she told, cuz my oldest sister's now ex husband (thank god) beat her when she told someone. asking about this anon. b/c my mom's on here

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Feb. 24, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • He has convinced her that it's her fault. That's what abusers do. It's a type of brainwashing. CM has groups for abused women but if I were you I'd call the professionals at the local Domestic Violence Shelter or the National DV Hotline and ask them what's the best way to deal. However, please know that abusers depend on the secrecy to continue the abuse. My dd is on CM and if you were her it would break my heart to think she wasn't telling me. Moms can think of lots of ways to find out stuff without your sister telling her what's up so he won't beat your sister. Personally, after I sent her dad to "talk" with him I'd find him and make a believer out of him and he better hope to all that's holy the police get to him before I do.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:56 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • Tell someone and find a strong man in your famil to beat on him He really needs it.
    mommatime78

    Answer by mommatime78 at 11:40 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • You need to tell. She could get a disease and die from the cheating and die from the abuse.
    Godswk

    Answer by Godswk at 11:41 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I agree with mommatime, he needs a man to knock him around.
    You can't let your sister put herself through this. That's so sad that she'd want to. You aren't betraying her in telling someone, it's really for her own good
    MicahsMom612

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 11:49 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • she's already gotten one STD from him from when they were together 5 years ago. Im araid for that reason too. But she just asked me again like 2 minutes ago not to tell, that he doesnt do anything really bad just pushes her up against the wall and puts his hand around her neck but doesnt squeeze. I know that is nothing to look past b/c thats where it starts then escalates. They have been together for over a year and he still hasnt told his mom about her. He lies about who he's with when she is sitting right next to him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • i agree he need to get knocked around too but you do need to tell your mother and have an intervention i stayed in a realtionship that was violent and it almost cost me everything including my little girl. i just wish my family would have stepped in and took me out of that invironment. she really needs the support of her family and friends right now and she can get a restrianing order on him when she leaves so that he cannot harrass her or come within 500 feet of her
    brittanybell

    Answer by brittanybell at 11:59 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • she says that she wants to leave but loves him for some reason. SHe has been in many abusive relationships and my step father abused her for a long time, and my mom was too scared to do anything about that. She said she's used to it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Tell someone. And I agree with alot of people, he needs to get a taste of his own medicine.
    Maybe after he gets knocked around a few times he will understand what his woman is feeling. As Ms. Madea says "play some grit ball". Get a heavy frying pan and a pot full of hot grits. One good wake from that pan and those hot grits hitting that skin, I bet he will think twice before touching anybody again.
    JoNique

    Answer by JoNique at 12:21 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

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