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Should I rat him out?

So my step son is 12, and is currently failing four classes in school. He lives with his mother, and comes over to our house every weekend. Last I heard, on Sunday, was that he is grounded from his Playstation 3. Well hubby just saw on our Playstation 3 that ss was logged in two hours ago, on a school night, after his bed time, when he is supposed to be grounded from it. I don't always agree with BM, but I feel it's important that we try and stay consistent. So, should I send her an email and rat him out? Or should I just let it go, and ask him about it when I see him again on Friday?

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my2.5boys

Asked by my2.5boys at 11:44 PM on Feb. 24, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 17 (4,394 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Yes, let her know. If you are truly committed to getting along with her, you need to be supportive of each other's discipline even when it falls short of what you would've done.
    surobb

    Answer by surobb at 12:38 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • i would have called or texted her right away to let her know that he was up and playing his game. you may not agree on everything, but you know this is a punishment that he is having and it sounds like you might even agree. just think if you would like her to do the same for you if the situation were reversed. if he is struggling with school he doesn't need to have those privledges so i def. agree with the punishment, but i would probably be more harsh. lol.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 1:18 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I'd have your husband let her know, since this is your stepson. He is the one who found out that he was logged on. Or doesn't he want to let her know?
    cat4458

    Answer by cat4458 at 8:29 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • hubby doesn't talk to his ex, ever. all communication goes thru me. i know she was sleeping when we found out last night, and he had already stopped playing anyways, so it wouldn't have done me any good to text her last night. i think i might send her one now though.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 9:29 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • i would let her know what he is doing behind her back and all also make sure when he is at your house he is going by moms rules also there for no video games also
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I would not 'tattle' I would call up the son and say I know oyu are grounded from the Playsation and I saw you on there I won't tell your mom but next time you are over here ____. Be on the same team with mom but don't break son's trust. But that is just my opinion.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 12:39 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • then he will think that BM and SM are not on the same page and can get away with things with SM and might even start thinking that the BM will let him not follow the rules at SMs. Hope it goes well.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 1:17 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Remove it from your home or put it in a place where he won't have access to it.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 2:06 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • You're not "rating him out" you are being a parent. The fact that he is choosing to defy a rule because it is your house not BM's house tells me that he doesn't respect the rules there. Time to put a stop to that. The BM needs to be told and the play station put away where he can not get to it. The BM and the two of you need to take a more agressive stand with this failing 4 classes and the only thing that happens is the play station is taken away? Time for some real consequences.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 3:40 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I would rat him out. She set a punishment and if you agree with it or not she set this punishment and all adults involved need to enforce it. More you show a united front the better the child will be. He will know he can't play one against the other.
    babyfat5

    Answer by babyfat5 at 4:00 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

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