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what to do??

ok i was living with a 54 yr old man and loved him at the beginning then he didnt want my daughter at my house cause she was on drugs, anyway i made him move out and started seeing this mixed guy i feel in love with him and we broke up and i took the 54 yr old back but i dont love him he helps me with the kids and financially. i am still in love with the mixed guy but people give me hell about the color so what do i do??

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Asked by rachel37 at 6:40 AM on Feb. 25, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • First of all, don't get hung up on any relationship if the other party isn't interested. Does your ex still have feelings for you, too? Before you pursue your old flame, keep in mind why you broke up in the first place - those negative feelings could easily arise again. However, if you and your ex want to get back together, forget what other people think of his race. It's 2009, sister ... bravo to you for being more modern than others :)

    Answer by KatieBatey at 6:46 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I don't see why the race has to be an issue. If you guys love each other, then who cares what anyone else thinks? How old are you? Do people care that you're dating a 54 year old man, assuming that you are quite a bit younger than that?

    Answer by munch12502 at 6:49 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • yes my ex wants to get back together, i am 39 yrs old but its like i feel sorry for the 54 yr old because he is disabled and he has no help from his family and his kids live very far and he really has no where to go, but i dont know what to do he is more like a best friend but he loves me to death and does great with the kids, but i love the mixed guy and want him back.. this is so hard..

    Answer by rachel37 at 6:55 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • i took the 54 yr old back but i dont love him he helps me with the kids and financially. i am still in love with the mixed guy   

    Well, I personally think you are using him financially from what you wrote.How can you be in love with one and use another?Its wrong. What you can do is fix you and take care of you and your family. It shouldn't be up to others to do that.  If a man did this people would call him an A$$hole and everything else. Let them both go so they can be happy with someone who will love them unconditionally.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • yes u r right and i should be ashamed for using the54 yr old but what would u do about his living arrangements should i keep him in my home i feel i cant just throw him out, he has no money ahead for a house?? please dont judge it is just something that happened.

    Answer by rachel37 at 7:03 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • can you explain to the 54 year old that you love him as a friend and nothing more, and let him know you do care for his well being and are willing to allow him to stay in your house, if you and he can come to an arrangement that is stirckly friendship, you and the man you truely love might have a shot, he will have to be ok with the older man living with you for the relationship to move forward, I say start slow with the mixed guy, and see how things go, be honest but kind

    Answer by midnightmoma at 7:58 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Be smart. Are you going to end up on poor and homeless with him and living below your standards. Wake up a lot of men will seduce you into thinking you are in love, but dang get a grip,10 years from mow you will not be with the mixed guy. trust me....................................

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Seems to me that you have an issue with the color of the other guy too.... otherwise, why refer to him as the "mixed guy"?
    Maybe you could let the guy stay there long enough to get a place to live and then resume relationship with the one you really love?

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:17 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I think you should give up men altogether for a while and learn for yourself what you want in a husband. It sounds like you are really confused and are being too easily influenced by what others think rather than what is right to do. If all you want is any man, then I don't see why it should matter what anyone else thinks about the color of his skin, his age, or any other thing.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:36 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

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