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Foreplay, towards your man....is it welcomed? TMI

When I'm intimate with my hubby, I desire foreplay. Often, he doesn't. He just becomes erect and wants to have sex, although he calls it making love. I told him I want clitoral stimulation; sex on the floor, in the closet, on the sink, the couch; to use toys, etc. Well, I'm the type, I love to love my man's entire body. I kiss, lick, suck between the thighs, his back, bite his buttocks, etc. I even enjoy kissing and licking his chest and nipples. He feels that some things I do make him feel feminine, but it's who I am and I'm not bisexual so that's not a thought to me..to make him feel feminine. I just want him to know that my love is deep. I give him manicures, massages, pedicures. I groom his facial hair, and all. I've never done this with any one else but b/c he's my hubby I do this for him. It hurts me when I don't feel more. What's your thoughts?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Feb. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I'm sorry you feel hurt. I do all the same things for my Hubby and they are always reciprocated. He treats me the EXACT same way I treat him. Talk to your Hubby about how you feel. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy, it sounds to me that you have a ton of love to give and you are deserving of the same in return.
    happyathomemum

    Answer by happyathomemum at 11:41 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • It sounds like you're either a sex addict or oddly obsessed with your husband. My DH loves foreplay, however some of the things you describe would even gross him out. You made me puke in my mouth a little honestly. Sorry but you're too much.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I do not see anything wrong with what you do..You love him and you Love all of him..
    I can totally relate.. I tell my fiance...you ain't getting there if I do not get foreplay..
    and it works...sure we have quickies but us gals liked to be touched..that is what gets our fire going..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 12:07 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • i do alot of the same things you do. and i also dont get much in return. my guy does try to give clitoral stimulation... with his finger but its just... lacking. he talks about performing oral sex way more than he does it. and i am so clean, so that aint the issue (i think hes just lazy). but i go a little crazy on his body and hes not particularly turned on by it. says it dont do much for him. i do continue to do it, thinking he may get a clue and realize its a trun on for me, but so far hes clueless.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • just talk to him. find out exactly which things bother him and maybe not do those. also tell him some of the things you would like him to do to you and don't worry if at first he's not all that good at it just talk him through it will he's trying. trust me talking to him and letting him know when something is done good for you will be a huge turn on for him and he may start doing these things more often.
    ramita

    Answer by ramita at 12:25 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Some men just aren't in to that I guess. My husband can't stand for me to even touch his nipples, he works outdoors so in the cold months they're chapped and raw so it brings him pain, he doesn't like being bitten at all and he's more of a let's just get to it kind of guy I guess except he would love it if I was more in to the oral thing.
    Maybe he doesn't like it because he wants to be in control some time? You said you've never done this before, but because he's your hubby you do... that just sounds odd to me the way you worded it... should do it because you enjoy it, that you think he enjoys it, not because you're married. If it brings either of you negative feelings, maybe it isn't the thing to do? Maybe have a you're in control tonight and I'm in control tomorrow night to see what new things each of you could bring in to the bedroom (or table, closet etc)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I'm with the ones that said to ask exactly what it is that he doesn't like/enjoy and tell him what you do enjoy or need.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:55 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • My husband is really into foreplay, and would do that more than having sex. He loves the "closeness" of it. I myself like it too, but sometimes it just gets too long. Try taking it down a notch and see how he is about that. It may just be way to much foreplay for him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Some of you make sense, and then others are completely lame. Obviously, it's not a matter of telling him what I want or don't want b/c I've done that. So now, I do what I feel like doing. It's not my fault if he doesn't like it, b/c he's not willing to tell me what he likes b/c he's a "traditional" man and feels as long as he's erect that's all he needs. I explained that. Nibbling on my man's ass or nipples isn't disgusting. They do it to us. What's the difference? I'm not a robot, and laying on my back for the same ole is driving me crazy. I'm very verbally expressive. I just think he's not up for the challenge b/c as someone mentioned above....men can be very lazy. Especially if they're getting what they want out of it. That's selfish and some women simply want and deserve far more than a hard, but boring "dick". And I'm not aggressive, I'm loving and spontaneous.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

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