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Would/have you had a PBMom over to your house?

I'm a bmom and it is one of my biggest regrets that I chose someone who wasn't even comfortable enough to share what town they lived in, but I had to be comfortable enough to hand my child over. I understand that not everyone would be comfortable with this and that's fine, but if I had it to do over again I would NOT have chosen anyone that didn't trust me enough to allow me in their home or around their extended family. I just didn't understand back then that I had the right to ask for these things or anything for that matter. So, I was just wondering how many aparents or paparents would be ok with having the pbmom in your home?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Feb. 25, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (93)
  • There are crazypsycho people in all walks of life, adoptive parents, natural parents, people who never become parents.... It's what makes the world go 'round.

    As far as letting the natural parents in to my home, Sure. Why not? If they can trust me to raise their child, I should be able to trust them in my home. I really hope that my husband and I can have an open adoption relationship like that. Honestly, the kids are the most important, and I would want them to know who they are inside and out and where they come from. Who wouldn't benefit from having more people in their lives that love and care for them?
    BobMariah

    Answer by BobMariah at 2:39 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • There are some women out where that are crazy. I wouldn't want her in my home because I wouldn't want her to try and come back later. There are some birth mothers who do try to come back and take their child. If I really wanted to provide a safe home for the child, I wouldn't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • My daughters birthfamily is always welcomed in my home. Some of my family members don't get it but I really do not care. They live well over 1300 miles from us, but I always tell them that I would love for them to come stay for a weekend or whatever..
    I can understand how some people would not want that either though..it all depends on how you look at everything..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 12:26 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I don't know what PBMom, bmom, aparents, and paparents stand for, but I wouldn't want my child to go anywhere I'm not welcomed, but he does. He goes to his nana's house which is where his dad lives, and i've never been there. I have a restraining order on his dad, so it's not going to happen any time soon, and it does bother me bc i don't know about safety issues going on there or if he has a room or his own bed, if it's clean, etc. It does get to me sometimes.
    heartfrommyson

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 12:28 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Are you kidding me?! I would fly to China and bring her here myself if I could. But because my son was abandoned with absolutely no identifying anything, we will never know her. That sucks. I would love to share his amazing progress with her. I want more than anything else to throw my arms around her and thank her for having this amazing little boy. My greatest regret is not knowing her.
    mommy22miracles

    Answer by mommy22miracles at 12:30 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • There are some paparents that are crazy so if they didn't trust me enough then I wouldn't trust them enough. It's not like it would have to be the very first meeting, but after awhile when both parties should have gotten to know each other.
    Oh, and it's not like there isn't other ways for the bmom to find out where the aparents live AFTER the adoption. I know plenty of people who have found out the address AND way more so, it's not about just knowing where they live but having a level of trust where there should be trust.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Not all birth parents are created equal- some have serious issues and others are perfectly normal. It would depend greatly on the individual birth parent!    I would treat them no differently than anyone else- i would make sure they were a healthy indivudual before interacting with my children...


    I would not have a problem inviting a birth parent into my home, if they were safe and sober at the time of the visit.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • " There are some women out there that are crazy"..How true..and then they go and adopt babies! How dare you! I want to know..in detail about all the First Mothers you know that have tried to "come back and take their children". This MYTH goes on and on and scares people and makes apaps have an excuse to do what ever they want. I want facts..details of cases that Firstmothers came and took children...doesn't happen people. We are not the Monsters you make us to be. I followed every rule. I always knew where my baby was. I never called, never drove by, never mailed the letter directly. We are real human beings that can control ourselves.We just are heartbroken because we miss our children.
    stillamom1213

    Answer by stillamom1213 at 12:50 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • No, I wouldn't want the birth mom over to my house or even know where I live because I would be worriend that she would stalk us or want some kind of relationship with my child, she could be a bad influence on my child.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 12:58 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I deffinitely would not want the birth mother to know where I lived. Many birth mothers have serious issues and can be very unstable and I would be worried about her being around my child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Feb. 25, 2009