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I don't understand

my dh and i have been ttc for 4 years. 3 miscarriages...and doc removed right tube in october. doc gave us 6 months to ttc on our own..6 months is up in march...the problem is that my dh hasn't been very interested in trying at all. for the first few months he wanted me to track my ovulation and let him know when it was time to do the baby dance...then he tells me to track it but now to tell him because it adds presure...so i did...then he tells me to stop tracking and we'll just wing it..so once again i did what he said...now he won't do the baby dance with me at all...and the only thing that runs through my head is that he's doing it with someone else...he's never givin me any reason not to trust him...but i've been cheated on in previse relationship and i guess that's where the doubt comes from...i'm just afaird that because i can't give him children now that he'll find someone who can...what do i do?

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longing2beamoth

Asked by longing2beamoth at 1:16 PM on Feb. 25, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Confront him and ask him what's up. That's what i'd do.
    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 1:19 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • 4 years is a looong time. maybe he is just frustrated and tired of getting his hopes up? but talk to him. ask him. if you two are happy and trying for a family i doubt hes going somewhere else for it.
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 1:25 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • i have talked to him about it...he says i'm making something out of nothing but the fact of the matter is that we still aren't having sex...i mean i understand that he works hard and when he gets home from working a 10-12 hr shift he's tired...and i've gone back to work after 2 years of being off and i'm tired too but i don't want to let my job get in the way of us wanting a family....the whole reason i took time off was because we were trying and he was terified that i would get pg again and loss it because i was working...but then i was thinking about it all the time and i decided to go back to help take my mind off of it...well i didn't expect it to work this well...i'm just worried what we've wasted time...they want to send up to do iui's if we aren't pg before march 20 and i don't know if we can afford it even with our insurance and me working again...
    longing2beamoth

    Answer by longing2beamoth at 1:31 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • first off, I'm sorry that it's been 4 yrs. I can't even imagine what your going through. However to your situation, I can understand that. My DH did something like that since we've been trying the best way. And I'm not saying it's easy but just bring the FUN back in the relationship. And if you guys have sex, 3-4 times a week all the time-- except for aunt flo then there's no reason to track, because your being active
    Guys are kinda of funny about it, My DH complaint was that I was sucking the love making out by saying I'm ovulating, it's time he started to just feel like a sperm donor.
    As far as you think he's cheating on you, just ask him what's up why were not having sex and why you tell me to this but then you do this that sorta thing. He may resist talking about it at first but trust me if you dont' say something you will never know. IF you trust your husband, then you trust that He will tell you what's up... Add me, i
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 1:44 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I would think that he feels pressured and scared to try. I wouldn't assume he is getting it else where. All of our miscarriages were pretty hard on my husband and he felt it was his fault it was taking us years inbetween each m/c to get pregnant again. (It actually might have been but thats besides the point) I would ask him about it, but I wouldn't assume the worst. He just might feel like he is letting you down. We cried together each time I got BFN.
    lasombrs

    Answer by lasombrs at 12:17 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

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