Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

HOW DO I DEAL WITH A MOTHER IN LAW WHO IS CAUSING TROUBLE BETWEEN ME AND MY HUSBAND

MY HUSBAND IS ABOUT TO DEPLOY AND MY MOTHER IN LAW IS TRYING TO MAKE ME OUT TO BE A CHEATING WHORE

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Feb. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Why? For what reason? What would her gain be? Doesn't she think about the distress she is causing her own son? This is too bad.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 1:21 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Its really up to your husband to handle this. It's his mother after all and he should be hurt and offended by these claims. Hopefully he trusts you enough to know its not true and you trust him enough to ignore what she's saying and know that it won't effect your marriage.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:22 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Are you? If not then don't worry. I understand that when a mothers son goes in the service they turn crazy. Sounds like you have a crazy MIL. Tell her to fuck off and stay out of your business.
    peacelovenfrogs

    Answer by peacelovenfrogs at 1:22 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • We cut off all contact with his looney mother. Deployments stick and you don't need the added stress. Talk it out with your hubby & make sure you're both okay then focus on getting through the separation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Remind her you get to pick her nursing home, and she doesn't necessarily have to be old to go to one!

    Seriously, your husband should trust you well enough to deploy and not listen to mama, I'd personally snub my nose at her and politely remind her that she should mind her own business. After all, you're an adult, and you don't OWE her any answers. Maybe MIL just doesn't like you, as I believe to be the case with mine, although mine won't show it to me, but will snidely comment behind my back. Which I've completely come to terms with because she's a lunatic, but DH understands the situation, and has made it clear to his mother that when he married me, he did as the Bible states, he LEFT his mother and father to become one with his WIFE. And he also let her know that if she didn't like it, tough. I was here, and there was nothing she could say/do about it.

    GL girl, hope this helps a little, or at least brightens your day some!
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 1:24 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • She's never going to take anything you say the same way she'll take it from her own son. He needs to stand up and tell her that he is an adult and can make his own decisions. If he's allowing you to be disrespected by her without standing up for you...well your problem is with HIM first, her second. Just ignore her in the meantime.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:24 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • You need to tell your husband to tell her to stay out of it and he needs to be a man and stand up to her. However, you cannot fix this, or you will make it worse. HE has to be a real MAN and stand up to his mommy.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 1:36 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • As a Mom, I can see how she may be worried that with him gone so long that you'll turn to someone else, but he doesn't need that stress before, during or after he leaves unless you actually are a cheating whore (not saying you are or will be). Maybe she thinks on some level that he has a choice in whether or not he's deployeed but as we all know, our men and women don't get a choice of when, where or for how long, so she'd better make the best of a bad situation or she's going to end up losing her son and his family in the process. I'd pull her to the side and tell her that he doesn't need this stress, that if you do stray then you'll sit beside her while she tells him all of the horrible things you've done while he was gone when he gets back if you've done and if she's wrong and you're loyal to her son and your family then she'll owe you a heartfelt apology.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:43 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Join http://www.cafemom.com/group/Jay
    Jmommy2B

    Answer by Jmommy2B at 2:00 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • its about inlaws that stress us out!
    Jmommy2B

    Answer by Jmommy2B at 2:01 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.