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I have a 10 month old boy. Still does n't sleep through the night. wakes up at least twice for diaper change & once for milk. Have trouble going back to sleep once I wake up, though he sleeps in 5 minutes. No family or friends to help. what to do ?

My hubby is a sound sleeper.He's been quite helpful since the birth but now when I need him the most, he's not doing that much. He comes home at 6pm & by 8pm he's already drowsy,somedays he'll doze off sitting in the couch & then he sleeps through the night. He does attend to the baby once in a while but most days he'll let the baby scream, by that time I wake up. The way I see it, I take care of him all day. When hubby comes back at 6pm, he just has to be present in the room. My baby goes around playing while I cook dinner.In the morning, he leaves around 8.30 am while baby wakes around 8 am. So he does n't have to do much during most part of the time he's home. So the least he could do is wake up just twice at night.He says you can sleep during the day, but I am not a baby I've lot on my to-do list like exercise,shower,internet,read a book,etc none of which I can do when my baby is awake as he just won't let me move an inch.


Asked by jaune at 1:34 PM on Feb. 25, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (9)
  • I feel your pain. My son is 8 months old, and he still wakes up throughout the night. I have hard time falling back to sleep. Plus, throughout the day, we deserve a bit of me time while out little ones sleep. I understand you choosing shower/internet/book over naptime throughout the day. If I didn't have my me time while my son sleeps, I feel as if I'm going crazy. Here's a suggestion, why not alternate shifts? Like, Monday, he gets up with your son. Tuesday, you get up with him. Wednesday, he gets up. So on and so forth? That way one of you gets the much-needed sleep. Honestly, if your husband doesn't want to give you a break when he comes home from work, the least he can do is give your son a bottle and change his diaper so you can get some sleep.

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 2:21 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • your husband is right in a way that you can take a nap during the day if you are choosing now to nap during the day then its your choice some of the things you listed on your to due list arnt most do things. However your husband should be willing to get up atleast just once through the night.
    some babies just dont sleep through the night for a long time you can try if your not already giving him a bath befor bed to help calm him and he is big enough that he doesnt need that bottle at night anymore so instead of getting up to give him a bottle let him cry it out. hes big enough to cry it out and will adventually just go back to sleep.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • suck it up princess.
    you wanted a baby so here he is.
    sorry if I sound blunt but it's true. You husband goes to work to PAY FOR YOU TO BE AT HOME.
    the least you can do is let the man sleep.
    and if you were really that tired, you WOULD sleep during the day.
    Internet can wait.. so can reading a book.
    you don't always have to do all of that all the time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • have you thought about co-sleeping? your husband is right, you should sleep during the day when baby naps. let things go, because really what is more important? the time that you'll NEVER get back with your baby, or things that you can do some other time? btw, welcome to my world-df barely does anything (never has) to help AND i'm breastfeeding so even if i wanted him to take a feeding or two, he can't (dd won't take a bottle). co-sleeping saves me, napping with dd saves me. as long as the kitchen, bathroom, and laundry are clean, and dinner is made, the rest can wait. maybe get a sling/wrap/carrier? you can get things done (and exercise) with baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • btw, letting babies cry it out IS harmful to them. babies communicate with us by crying. ignoring that can lead to the child feeling insecure, neglected, untrusting, etc.. put yourself in your baby's shoes-if you needed something and couldn't speak and no one came to help you, how would you feel? babies aren't manipulative and can't be spoiled at that age. sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone that each baby reaches in THEIR own time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I mean, your husband has a job he can go to and leave... it's not fair. You have your job 24/7! Or have him take over from 6pm-8pm so you can nap if he really doesn't want to get up throughout the night. You deserve some break and uninterrupted sleep. OR make your husband take over on his days off. Sometimes you have to make the men do something or they just sit back. I have to make my fiance partake in the childrearing. He is happier doing his own thing while I take care of the baby, clean, and cook. I really don't believe in the CIO method. I am a firm believer that children will sleep through the night when they are good and ready. Or have hit the 1-year mark. Good luck!

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 2:27 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I agree with ShadesofGrey! He should get up to help you, he gets to leave his job. My boyfriend and I have had this argument before and finally he sees where I'm coming from so if I am having a hard time in the middle of the night he will get up and help and he has to be to work by 5am and works until 5:30pm. I was never a believer of the CIO method until our pediatrcian told us to try it...and I finally did, believe me it was hard at first, but after about a week she was falling asleep on her own and she still gets up 1-2 times but they are shorter times...she has her diaper changed, eats a little bit, I lay her down in her crib and she is back to sleep within 10 minutes. I mean every baby is different and as far as the CIO method hurting the baby that is complete bull....we have been doing this now for almost 2 months and my daughter is just fine!!!

    Answer by EmmaleeMarie at 3:15 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • My son is 20 months old and still does not sleep through the night. Not to scare you or anythin. I also have a 4 year old cousin who didn't sleep through the night until she was 3. Some kids are sleepers and some are not. I do not take a nap during the day because he only takes one and I need that time for school work. My husband works 2 jobs 4 days a week (3am-9pm). So no, he does not help me when he works and I don't expect him to. He will help empty the dishwasher and stuff during his 30 min inbetween jobs but that is only if he sees that I've had a rough day with my son. Before he had the two jobs, he was working a similar schedule as your hubby, yet when he did help watch the baby while I did housework, he would fall asleep watching him. So yes, I know how you feel, but your hubby is right. Rearrange your priorities. If your baby takes 2 naps, nap during one and choose an activity for the other. If that is not cont.

    Answer by TheDragn01 at 5:21 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • cont. a comprimise you are willing to make, then I don't know what to tell you. I am an artist and have not drawn one single thing since my son was born because school is more important. It is frustrating, but that's the life of a mom. Your life is no longer yours, it belongs to your child. There are many things I do not get to do during the day that I want to do. My son, btw, gets up a minimum of twice a night, sometimes (rarely) its every hour (teething, sick.) Good luck :0)

    Answer by TheDragn01 at 5:24 PM on Feb. 25, 2009