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What do you think? I love my Sil, but sometimes I just wonder about her.

I have her kids ALL the time and they are good kids. 7 kids total mine & hers. She can't even handle her own! Her mom lives w/ her and she is able to leave them when she had any errands to run. I pick up and take the oldest two to school everyday, her mom stays and watches the little one for her to go to work, which is a rarity, she works part time and maybe 2 days or even no days a week. When she does work, she is always off by 3 pm. Mostly she just goes out and window shops or runs errands. She just left for a week and her mother and I have the kids. I really don't mind. I love them, but her reason was b/c she was too stressed out. From what???? She doesn't have to cook, or clean her mom does all that. She doesn't have to watch her kids either? Do I just sound like I'm jealous of her carefree life? Or am I justified to wonder what is wrong w/ her?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Feb. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • It sounds like you and her mother are enabling her to be a lazy Mom. I think if her Mother wont back off in the help department, you def should. Make her realize what being a Mother really is like, force her to take care of the children she obviously wanted at one point. Ugh...I can't stand ignorant Women like that.

    happyathomemum

    Answer by happyathomemum at 2:36 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Maybe you are jealous of her carefree attitude and freedom. I have alot of help myself and when I run errands I dont take any kids unless I want to. I dont drive my kids to school either, my husband or inlaws do. I get stressed out pretty quickly as well so sometimes my family also questions why I need time alone when they can do it all and more. Not everyone is made the same though and everyone is given different levels of patients and things they need to do in life. For me I am fortunate and I know I am. I dont have to work, I have people to watch the kids when I want them to, I can shop, play, go places, or just stay with the kids. I dont see anything wrong with your sil its her life and her choice. If youre resentful of having to help you can always stop.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • It sounds like she isn't in touch with what being a parent really is. Being a parent you have to sacrifice some of that me time. You may be a bit jealous, but who wouldn't be. Maybe you and her mother should lay off on helping her so much and see if she steps up to the plate. She may just act this way because she can. I just hope she isn't one of those few people that regrets being a parent and is avoiding it.
    kboney29

    Answer by kboney29 at 2:37 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • If you have kids of your own and you are a hands on mother, there's no way that you're jealous. Your feelings are justified based on your SIL actions and lack of parenting skills. I'm wondering why did she even have children?

    But answer this, why are you two taking care of her children and why does the mother, cook and clean for this woman? As long as she has the two of you to take on her responsibilities, she will always be this way...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 2:39 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • This is likely not new behavior for your SIL. I'd bet she has been passing the buck all her life. There's always an excuse from people like this why they can't or won't do something.
    But, they only get away with it because of ENABLING people letting them push off responsibilities onto them.
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 2:57 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

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