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My 5 year old explodes

My five year old is a very good little boy unless he has one problem. It seems like he has one problem and the whole night goes to crap. We have tried everything to curb this problem but nothing seems to work, anybody have any advice? We don't like him being in trouble all the time, we want our good little man back.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Feb. 25, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (6)
  • my son is 8 now but he started doing the same thing around 4. it took me a while to get him to calm down and talk instead of reacting first. he actually hit windows and broke things when he got angry. it was difficult but i started off by putting him in a room with just me and kept him on his bed. the fact that he hit glass and things of that sort it was more a need to keep him from hurting himself. i would just talk until he calmed down. eventually he started talking back. he is fine now for the most part but still has the occasional outburst. thankfully its usually just slamming doors and hiding in his room until he calms down.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • what do you mean? If he doesn;t get his way over something he throws a tantrum? Or he does something wrong everyday?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I guess I should elaborate, my son is really good most of the time. If he gets in trouble for the littlest thing (not cleaning up a toy or forgetting to brush his teeth) and the punishment is as simple as go to brush your teeth he explodes. He gets violent to every member of the family (he has 4 sisters and 1 brother) and we live in an apartment so when he hits the walls and floor it disturbs the neighbors. He also shuts down and refuses to speak most of the time. We don't know what to do. We don't want him to explode but we don't want to let him think he can get away with it... *****OP*******

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Is this just a night time problem, or does it happen all the time? Frequent meltdowns like that can be a sign of so many things. He could just have trouble dealing with the frustration that he's feeling. I am worried about the fact that you said he gets violent and hits things, especially if he's doing this without very much provocation. Sometimes those outbursts of violence and temper are a sign of bipolar disorder. I'm not saying that is what's wrong, but if you think it could be, you might look into it.

    Answer by Guaranteed at 6:21 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • You have just described my son. I wanted to hit the teacher on his intervention team who told me I am giving in to him. I cannot let him disturb the neighbors. We think that his violent behavior is triggered by an inability to communicate his frustration or embarrassment. What we have been doing with a small degree of success is to make him use his words in place of his voice or his fists. We started with the obvious "I'm angry!" type thing then as he masters that we are moving on to in calmer tones I don't like this because... The announcing of his feelings is not much more than another kind of outburst but it gives him some control over what is happening rather than the uncontrolled violence in the general direction of everywhere and everything. It's not that he doesn't have the tools to express properly, he just short circuits the let's think first button and moves to react first. If you want to message me, we can talk!

    Answer by Liansmommie at 7:03 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • The getting violent with the other kids is unacceptable. Will he hit a pillow if you tell him to? This is more like the behavior of a 2/3 year old. Have you talked to his doc about it? Could be, with all the other kids, it's his way of getting negative attention but at least its attention. Talk to him and ask him what makes him so mad, could be something from school or something else.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Feb. 25, 2009