Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Second question...How do you practice love in a marriage...

IF your in a rough spot?

I personally think its a resonsability in a marriage...but of course the feeling would just be a bonus..but not required all the time..

What i mean is, even in the rough times, what do you feed from;the "feeling", or knowing you have a responsability to love and honor this man for life, through thick and thin?

For some, this is where the line is drawn...there are some things that are hard to get through, hard to forigve BUT..if it gets too hard, does your love stop? does Love have limits?

I was asking myself this because my mom and dad are divorced..but we can all plainly see that they both still love each other.

Ive imagined me in their shoes,i guess since im out of the circle , i can see that somewhere in those 20 years, they stopped loving..first they stopped loving responsably, then ofcourse the feeling of not being "in love " with each other anymore followed..Just an observation.

Answer Question

Asked by aMbeR012005 at 4:57 PM on Feb. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I ask myself how I would feel seeing my husband with another woman and knowing she is getting all his best. I hate that idea, so I stick out the hard times because the best is sooo good.

    By the way, this wouldn't be the case if he was abusive. I'm not into getting battered.

    Answer by timelessglass at 5:04 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Oh of course theres limits reagarding life and death. Im referring to couples who find divorce their only option..
    (of course it may be a dif story with domestic violence involved)

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 5:09 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • We really don't talk about an argument. Nobody wins. We have the first spat, we both leave the blow up knowing where the other stands...and we're probably both mad. The mad part sticks around for a while, but, I guess after kids, we know we're bound so we better just get over it.

    That sounds really dismal, so I should point out we argue like once a year, but its how we handle it...probably not the most psychologically balanced way, but when there is a commitment there, it shouldn't be waning.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 6:12 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I have to bow out of this one. I tried marriage 3 times. I've thought I was in love before but couldn't figure it all out. Now I settle for mutual respect and sex. Sad but I'm old. I just don't have it in me to work that hard anymore. Maybe they just got tired as well.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:15 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • In our group of friends, we are the only ones who haven't divorced. When we see what another couple is going through as they divorce...hurting the kids, breaking up the home, working to rebuild lives...we remind each other how good we have it and how hard it was to build this life together. We literally had nothing when we got together all those years ago. Now we have so much...and not just material things. We have been through so much...we have a shared history and we have gone through things that you can only go through with someone who knows you and accepts you completely. So, when things are tough we just look around and remember all that we stand to lose if we give up. We also think about the things to come in our lives and how it doesn't seem like we could face the rest of our lives without the other. When I think about my life and growing old, I always picture him with me...same for him.

    Answer by mizkaye at 6:30 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Yea, i think they got tired.

    I mean my mom is all about " im a woman, no man tells me what to do" , and my dad is like " im a man, and a woman cant tell me what to do " .i think they just put each themselves first...before the marriage...ive definately learned from them..

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 6:32 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • If you put your partner first and leave yourself vulnerable your partner is more likely to pick up on it and focus more on you. You have to let go of self. Grasp your partner and let go of yourself. Give them a chance to hang on to you. this sounds weird but if you read it a few times maybe it will make sense. You can take care of someone else better if you don't have to tkae care of yourself. So let go and help your partner that wa your partner can help you when you need it. I have always been fighting for self so much that there wasn't any room for a partner. Now i figured it out. Yay for me.

    Answer by Lovemybabies885 at 10:12 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Yay for you. i get you completly...we are "one"...not just on paper ya know?
    One day ,they will realize...hopefully..

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 11:06 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.