Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How many of you have started over?

My husband and I are separating in a few short months, the only reason we haven't already, I don't have enough money and no where to go yet. I'm ok with my decision, but I'm scared to death I won't be able to make it. Any advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Feb. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Of course you can do it! Youre a woman and you are a mom!!  My words of advice....make a budget and stick to it. Life might be a bit different as far as going without some of the things that you had while you were married. You can do it though.


    Answer by mamakirs at 5:50 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • Yep I started over with NOTHING. I had to go back to my moms and remember finally getting an apartment and having a 13 in tv and a blow up mattress LOL. In a way it was kinda cool because I got to refurnish and pick things for myself. I liked the freedom of being a single mom and not being tied to anyone or having to explain where I was going, why I was doing something and could just buy whatever I WANTED. Just take things slow and remember to have a sense a humor about things. Enjoy the newness of things because it fades. And Good luck.

    Answer by gemgem at 5:50 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I loved it when I got to start over after years of being unhappy. For the first 6 months it was like playing house I was so happy to be on my own. Of course I had and kept a budget, but not being yelled at everyday and constantly talked down too, I totally felt like there was nothing I couldn't tackle and accomplish.

    As far as having noting.... OMG I learned to love flea markets and garage sales, and I learned quickly how to bargain for things. You'll do just fine darlin, don't let anyone, even you, scare you into thinking you won't.

    I just thought of myself as a modern day Farrah Faucet and refused to do anything I saw her do in the movie "The Burning Bed". I literally watched lifetime movies and critiqued what I thought those women did wrong, and I assessed my life to see if I was making those same mistakes.... a little off the beaten path, but it worked for me.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 6:04 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I left with the clothes on my back and 3 kids and i did fine. At the time I didn't have my college degrees and it was a struggle but I made a budget and made tough choices but we managed and did ok. You can too

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:06 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • oh yes... i did it. I left with nothing...a bag of clothes for me and my daughter and that was it. it took a couple months but i got my stuff together and got an apartment and actually started loving my new life. You can do it. Mothers are made to handle will find your strength.

    Answer by Carli26 at 6:40 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I started over 3 years ago. My ex told me I was a loser and that I couldn't survive on my own. Well, I bought a condo myself and have done just fine. I have no debt and pay my bills ontime. Life is very good - way better in my "new" life.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 6:55 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • It was the best thing I ever did, was on my own for a while, then met the man of my dreams, life couldn't be better!!!!

    Answer by 4x4mum at 7:01 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • i been there budget all your money.. and its gonna be awhile before you get to buy your self anything.. but you can do it.. i started out with another mom as a roommate.. in a small two bedroom apt but we did good for a while... she lost her job and she watched my kid till she could get another one and i paid the bills.. maybe finding someone to help you get true it.. its not gonna be easy.. but with childsupport, maybe a roommate or a really small place.. its hard but it gets better.. you will feel better for sure.. depenting on how old your kids are it might not be to hard.. save money were you can and maybe they kids wont understand at first what is going on and why but they will get use to it and they will see how much happier you are..

    Answer by miss_nevin at 7:53 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I lived in SC and sent my kids to a family friend in NC, packed the car and headed to NC myself. On the way my car broke down and my cousin had to come get me, then I finally moved into a battered women's shelter for a month after which they kick you out...nice right I know. Then I had to beg money from local churches to pay for nights for me and the kids to stay in a hotel, and we spent the night with friends here and there. It was not easy but it is possible. I have no family and at the time all the government help had no funds available to help. Once I got in my own place and wasn't homeless anymore HUD called saying they could get me an apartment. Due to a failing system in a failing area I was left homeless for almost 3 months, so make sure you have family and a good plan.

    Answer by Lovemybabies885 at 10:05 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I did it once when I left my son's father when my son was only 8 months old. I had family to help me. It was hard at first but it gets better. My husband and I fight all the time lately. We have two and are expecting our third I am scared to death to think I might have to do it on my own again with not only one but three kids. But I know if I had to, I could.. Not only are you a woman but your a mom and Im sure you can do it.. Good Luck sweetie.

    Answer by angelkatcutie83 at 11:10 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.