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Should I push my daughter to play this position?

My daughter is 10 years old and is on a traveling soccer team. She plays a defender position and has since last Fall. She has progressed very well and her self esteem which is often not very high has really increased since she started with this team. Her trainer is super and gives lots of praise and is always positive and encouraging. She has her first indoor tournament this weekend. The teams goalie is out with a fractured foot and the trainer approached 3 different girls including my daughter to play a "sweep goalie". My daughter says she doesn't want to play the position because she can't do it. She has some anxiety issues anyway about new situations and we have worked with her to build her up. Should we do more than just encourage her to give it a try? Should she have to play the position? Should I tell her trainer about her fears? She may wake up Saturday morning and not want to go to the tournament at all!


Asked by LovetoTeach247 at 8:16 PM on Feb. 25, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 4 (33 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I would leave it between her and the coach....respect her decision. That will give her more of a boost than forcing her to do it. She is already doing so much....and has come such a long way. I know some kids need more of a push than others (my son is very much like that and has some confidence and anxiety issues as well) but in this case she is already pushing herself. Tell her you think it would be great if she wanted to give it a try but it is up to her. That will increase her confidence and she may wind up doing it. If not, no big deal either. Maybe next time! If you have to talk to the coach, do it discretely and don't make her feel bad about it. Smile, Mom!

    Answer by BJoan at 11:43 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • I would def NOT encourage any change right now. Especially not with a kid who has some esteem issues and has found a modicum of success. Explain her anxiety and esteem issues to the coach id need be. There will be lots of time to try new things when she is more comfortable in her own skin.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:26 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • I'm sure the other girls are feeling the same as your daughter. It's always scary to try a new position, now matter what where you self esteem is at. I don't know if I would push her to do it, but voice your concerns to the coach so s/he understands the factors behind her saying no to it. Who knows, she could do a great job!

    Answer by ap9902 at 9:00 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

  • never push the issue. if we are forced to do something we can do one of a few things. (1) do it purposely wrong so we are not asked to do this again.(2) tent to accidently forget what it is we were going to do. (3) just flat out throw in the towel and do nothing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • my daughter plays on a indoor team ..its way different than out doors.she also plays goalie...i would encourage her to do it .dont push her that ball flies.get her a mouth guard if she doesnt have one.its kind of fun though.the girls like it.maybe talk to the coach and tel him of her anxiety.have fun...

    Answer by snowmom974 at 8:26 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I would talk to the trainer and let him or her talk to your daughter. I would NOT push the subject with her. She may pull back and not want to play at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • If I were you, I would tell her that you believe that she is capable of doing this if she really wants to, that you have all the confidence in the world in her abilities and talents, but that you are going to leave the final decision up to her and the coach and the rest of the team. If you push her to do it, and she does fail to play up to her expectations of herself, she is going to feel like she not only failed herself and the team, but she's also going to think she failed you. I would not want to put my child in that position.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:39 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I would practice that position at home with her to show that she can do it and have a talk with the coach. If she still does not want to do it I wouldn't push the issue. Just let her practice at home.

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 1:10 PM on Feb. 26, 2009