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help!! 4 year old monster!!!

Im a mommy of a 1 year old. Currently im living with an older cousin, who has a 4 year old. the 4 year old is very jealous of my daughter. She started out always sayin no 2 my daughter even when she wasnt doing anything. She grabs toys from my daughters hands and hits her. She pushes her n sometimes grabs her n tries to shake her wit this horrible look on her face that makes me scared for my childs life. Im a stay at home mom, so everyday im home alone wit these kids til at least 4. I cant put my hands on this child or talk 2 her too harshly or else her mother gets very upset. This kid just doesnt listen. u can tell her no and she will look at u and laugh while still doing it. She talks back n hits u if u take something from her. She is horrible and she treats my daughter like crap and i fear that she will try to hurt her very badly 1 day. I dont kno wat 2 do, i need some serious help!

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Asked by kmontalvo1013 at 11:48 PM on Feb. 25, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • Its sort of like sibling rivalry. She is jealous & feels very threatened that she has to share. Her house, her toys, attention. Stuff like that. It may not appear like it on the surface, but she probably is a a good kid. She is fighting for all she knows.(nothing against you

    There are lots of books on sibling that helped me with my kids is called Siblings Without Rivalry. It kind of points it out like this. Imagine your husband for ex. brought home another woman and tells you that she is your new wife. You need to love her and accept her. He started taking her everywhere...she wears your clothes, sleeps in your room, gets your husbands attention...You would be super P.O.ed. Its how this little girl may be feeling.

    She needs to be acknowledged by you and her Mom that she is still her special #1 person, These are still her toys, this is still her house. What a big girl she is for helping you two out.

    Answer by Momforhealth at 12:00 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Ok you need to sit her mom down and tell her that either she needs to discipline her child or you will. You have the right your her aunt if my brother didnt discipline my dd when she did something bad i would ask why but maybe thats just my family but yes it needs to stop. If you cant yell at her or anything while you watch her put her in time out your the one watching her, her mom will just have to get over it your the one in charge not the 4 year old good luck hope it works out for you

    Answer by aubrees_mommie at 12:08 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • if you fear for your child life sorry but 1 i wouldn't be there anymore. and talk to the kids mom. there has to be some kinda of arrangement you guys can make. yes there is sibling rivalry but that's out of hand. i have 3 boys and not one of them act like that. and yes they do get into fights, but normally we can solve the problem. i normally stop them from fighting set them n a corner till they calm down. then take them and talk to them either one at a time or together about what whent on and what to do. and yes most of the time it is over who's toy is who's. but wit hage differance comes different types of toys :) good luck

    Answer by ladyheather900 at 12:25 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I'm sorry you and your child are having a tough time. Sounds as if the little four year old girl is angry that her space has been invaded and is also very jealous that your child's mommy is home and hers is not. Try this: while your child is napping, sit and have a gentle but firm talk with her. Tell her you know how hard it is for her to "share" her house with the baby. Tell her how much your baby loves her and wants to learn good things from her. SLowly you should see a change. When you catch her in the act of doing something nice, and this is tricky, praise the ACT and NOT HER. ..example: Thank you! That was so nice of you to share that toy with her. She is so lucky to have you to teach her things! Great job! Good luck to you. I know it's hard, but it's worth a a try.

    Answer by grandmalinda707 at 12:29 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • If the child's mom will not let you discipline her then maybe she would be agreeable to your taking a positive approach to dealing with her. Maybe if you start praising her whenever she is nice to your daughter( and you may have to watch closely and look hard to catch this), but when she is nice to her even a little or shares a toy or anything remotely nice then you praise her loudly and maybe even give her a hug or a high 5. If you want to increase a certain behavior you have to reinforce that behavior and comment on it many more times than you comment on the bad behavior. Give it a try for several days, don't give up after two. Catch her being nice and make sure she knows that you saw it. The child will begin to behave better, the mom might start feeling better about things and maybe even joining in with you to further encourage her child's good behavior. Good Luck!

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 8:20 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Move out!

    Answer by momo8child at 3:45 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

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