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Music and my 12 yr old

hey moms... i am havin problems with my 12 yr old and his music ..We have told him tht he can listen to ememion as long as it is edited and well it isnt and everytime i go and say something to him about it he has a totalley attiude about it and is all huffy about it ....and his attiude here lately has been just pure out shity .sorry for the launage ..but i dont know what to to he gets mad eveytime i say something then blames it on his step dad well u would let me if we wasnt here with him ..that isnt true we have been with him since he was 8.So i need to know how u would handle this situation?

Would u let ur son listen to music like this at his age r tell him the rules have changed piss him off and tell him no ...everytime he gets in trouble its bad to him lol..I feel like im always tellin him and repeatin my self to him about this ....What should i do moms???

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:58 AM on Feb. 26, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (11)
  • Yes, I would ban it. I would tell him he had the chance to listen to it edited and he refused to abide by your rule, so now the new rule is none at all. I don't have a teen yet, lol, I have a 2 1/2 year old, but that's how it goes for him. If I give him conditions and he can't meet those conditions then his privilages are taken away. It's simple and it works. Your teen will give you he*l for a lot longer than my son who is over it within fifteen minutes most of the time, but it will still be worth it to teach him a lesson that you are the one who is in charge - not him.

    Answer by MommyToSmeech at 7:05 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • LOL I think that statement he gave you about you would let me if he wasnt here in engraved in them or they must take a class that teaches that line. Mine do the same thing and I have been with their step dad since they were 3,8,9 and 13. What I do with mine is say this is what Im buying you and you can take it or leave it because it is no skin off my nose not to listen to that crap anyway. Usually it does make them mad but they get the point. I also tell them I dont want to have to hear the music throught the walls or down the stairs unless they want me to blast 80s music in their room at 3am.

    Answer by gemgem at 7:25 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I don't think of music as a huge deal. I listened to IceT when I was 12. Not at all appropriate for a 12 year old, but I turned out ok. I want them to have an appreciation for music, and I love Eminem so why not let my 12 year old listen to him? He listened to it for a little while, but his taste varies so much, he didn't stick with it for long. If you forbid it, he is only going to be curious and do it behind your back. I would not let him blast it, and talk to him about respecting others, especially younger siblings and adults who just don't want to hear it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • We did not allow our children to listen to that kind of music. I don't really believe that the music is the issue with your son. I believe that the problem is that he disrespects you in general. He is about to enter the teens, and the peer pressure to do all kinds of other things that you likely won't approve of is going to increase. We were very careful to not give our children too much freedom too soon to make their own choices. That included their choices of friends, activities, and all the rest. They were allowed to do all kinds of things, but they were not able to just do anything they pleased to do. There was and is no resentment from any of them, but we started when they were very young. I'm not sure how to advise you to go about that at the age of 12. It is much easier to let the reins out gradually than it is to pull them back in once you've let them go.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:35 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I would take his CDs. You told him that he could listen to it if it was edited but he refused to listen to your rules so there are consiquences. But it also sounds like he needs to respect you and your SO more.

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 1:17 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Listen to it with them, pretend you like it. It works every time. I have 3 kids all different ages 23 16 and 12. I did the same with the older 2 and I do the same with him. He just says Mom it is not right that you listen to my music. The older ones just laugh now.

    Answer by connietrrll at 2:33 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I am pretty liberal when it comes to music. I would be cautious of some music. I think you can trust rating pretty well and I would always listen to a CD I was unfamiliar with all the way through before allowing my child to listen to it. You are your child's parent so if you do not like the attitude you have every right to piss him off and take it away. Explain why and maybe try letting him have it back in a few months if he improves. Make sure he understands that music is just that, music not a life style or a motto. If he is not able to listen to the music and enjoy it with out letting it rule him take it away.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:59 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • My 12-year-old daughter is in love with Eminem. I let her listen to it, even the non-edited ones, because she doesn't repeat the launguage and is mature enough to handle it. I don't find it fair to have her listen to the edited ones, because the beat gets messed up. That' just my opinion, but remember, you are the parent.

    Answer by A.W.96 at 8:27 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I loved ICP (insane clown possy) when i was 12... we use to love to sing snoop dogg songs on the bus (lol).... Sure the music isnt great but kids will get past it.. as long as you child is not starting to act like the music or anything i would let it slide.

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 9:36 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • This is how I see it. We have to pick our battles carefully and I'd rather have my son listen to Eminem then start smoking or doing drugs. Music is something kids can have all to themselves. It's often how they rebel against their parents. Just like the clothes they wear, etc. It's all a part of growing up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

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