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Does anyone ever feel like there hubby only loves them sometimes? My hubby will sometimes be so mean and cruel, but then the next minuet so sweet and loving. Its really confusing, I hate feeling like this. I dont think this is how a marriage is supposed to me. I do love him with all my heart and truley believe he loves me with all his heart, most of the time. I have tried for a handfull of years to make everything work, I do everything to make him happy but its just not enough most of the time. What do I do? We have 3 kids. I cant just give up on it when I have kids involved.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on Feb. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • If he is mean and cruel, then you (and he) need counseling. It isn't the way you should be living. If by mean and cruel you mean physically abusive then you need to get out now. I'd say to make a list of what is making you unhappy and what is making you happy, but it really seems that you need to talk this over with a counselor or religious adviser.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:35 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Have you tried talking to him? Ask him what's going on and maybe consider counseling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • male pms. My hubby just did that to me the other day. He will vent out on his kid and then verbally attack me . Just move on. Don't leave. You need a good roof and food and money not being on boderline welfare and going for any step daddy that is left over with baggage all over. Stick it out, I do every day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Its very common and natural to have such a feeling.... but there is a flip side to it tooo.....
    the way you feel about "doing everything to make him happy" might also be the same feeling he must be having for you and must be in the same wonderland as you that nothing is ever enough'

    the best and positive attittude would be to set up a lunch or a dinner date with him on a freeer day and when u two are alone both can try to come up with their apprehensions and come to positive conclusion...

    but both of u should promise each other to listen on that date and not get angry or violent.....

    if ur able to open up even if u dont come up with solutions u would feel better in venting off in a positive manner....

    then these lunch dates can be set as occasional get togethers....same can be taken furthur as family time with kids too involving them to in venting sessions and understanding each others needs and desires....

    Answer by hollerone at 8:39 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Hi, I know just how you feel. How long have you been married? I have been married for 23 years and sometimes feel so neglegted. I do know that my husband loves me, but I want him to adore me! Is that too much too ask. Why cant men just love us the same as when the relationship was new? It is always our women who must try and keep the marriage alive and interesting.

    Answer by Roxy222 at 8:39 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I know how you feel and I am so sick of it. IDK what to tell you to do. Marriage generally sucks on the woman's side.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 8:42 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I would love to be friends w/ you i feel like we are going though the same thing i have 3 girls an i can't get to close to him because he can be so mean some times.I live w/ it i've already decided i'm here till the end...unless it gets pysical then i will make him leave.I have tryed to get mine to go to counseling or just go to church get on pills he won't do it any of it.So i live with it, i live though the good and the bad,because i have kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Just some questions for you. Does your husband know that he is a higher priority with you than are the 3 children? Do you thank him for the things he does for you, like going to work every day? Or do you think he might feel unimportant and taken for granted? Do you compliment or praise him for being a good dad? For being a man of character? For being honest? For being a man of integrity? When he does something to help you out, do you tell him how he could have done it better? When he comes home in the afternoon, do you greet him with a welcome home hug? Do you first ask him about his day or tell him how rotten yours has been? Men have feelings, too, but they don't talk much about them. My guess is that you are somehow hurting your husband's feelings and this explains his outbursts. If you will listen very closely, he is probably telling you what the problem is. So listen and then fix it.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:54 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • 1: He not a higer priorty then my kids, my kids are eaisily pleased and very happy kids!
    2: I thank him EVERYDAY for everything that he does, including work, and everything he does on his days home, hes an awsome man, and I make sure I tell him!
    3: Everyday when he comes him I give a hug, a kiss, and tell him how much I missed him and ask him how his day was when he gets sat down and gets the work boots off. Its not very often that he asks me that..
    Anything else youed like to know? Just ask Id be happy to tell you....

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • perhaps he as a personality disorder that controls how he behaves and he can't help himself. Many ppl have that Dr Jykll and Mr Hyde personality thing going on. My guy drives me nuts with it. Thank goodness I don't live with him and deal with it 24/7. That's what keeps me sane or as close to sane as I can get. lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:15 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

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