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could someone explain to me why my SS would choose LDS Church over his father. We havent seen him in months

When My DH asked his son why he doesnt come visit us anymore he replied: "The Church needs me." Why does he feel pressured by the Mormon church?

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Asked by sparklesqrlpooh at 10:55 AM on Feb. 26, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (22)
  • It's just a church, it's not a cult. If he's attending a church and truly believes in its tenets, he's probably not comfortable anymore in an environment that doesn't meet the same requirements as those tenets, just like anyone else who first finds religion - regardless of the denomination.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 11:01 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • There are little pockets of crazies amongst the sane folks in most religions ---- seems he may have fallen in with the LDS crazies.

    I've never heard of a church run by sane people defining "we need you in the church" as "you can't see your family".

    If it were me, I'd probably pretend to be interested in his church and tag along a time or two --- see what's going on over there. It's possible the church is going through a lot of changes or renovations he's just helping out with & hasn't had the time to come visit lately. But, it's always better to be sure. You don't want him caught up in any Jonestown reinactments.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 11:05 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • CULT CULT CULT!!!! I hate religion...I belive wholeheartedly in God but I cannot stand organized religion, there all just a bunch of tiny cults, that take the focus off God and put it on RULES!!!!

    Answer by happyathomemum at 12:13 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I think that this church has given him the impression that he must forsake "people" for God. This is not true, its a false teaching and does wave the flag of "cult". Not saying that it is, but that is a clear red flag. Anything that takes us away from our family (saying that they are not abusive or toxic) is idolatry. God created us to be loved by our family and for us to love them. Hes clearly misguided. So sorry.

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:03 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Answered at 12:13 PM on Feb. 26, 2009 by: happyathomemumView Profile
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    View Answers CULT CULT CULT!!!! I hate religion...I belive wholeheartedly in God but I cannot stand organized religion, there all just a bunch of tiny cults, that take the focus off God and put it on RULES!!!!

    I totally agree. I am a christian, raised by a pastor and I am called to the ministry now. We work in the church with my father and even I HATE organized religion. Anytime we make it about anything other than God, it becomes occultic and ultimately about us and our rules. What really bothers me is how many people have been hurt by this practice. It sickens me.

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:06 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I would ask him why he feels that way. I am LDS and never have chosen it over my family. In fact the church feels very strongly that it is important to spend time with family. They would never tell him to choose church over his father. It kind of sounds more like an excuse to me. Maybe he doesn't want to see his father for whatever reason so instead of saying out right "I do not want to see you" he said the church needed him.

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 1:27 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • ok soccer chick..... you have some point there. It just hurts that everytime we ask him to come over, which is every weekend, he has a church excuse. He tells us that when he comes to our house and misses Sunday teachings the elders make him feel guilty. They know how we feel about how they teach. Im not trying to Bash, But I do feel there is a bit of brainwashing going on with him. We are just sad and we miss him,

    Answer by sparklesqrlpooh at 1:50 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I'm LDS and think soccerchick has a good point. I can see why you feel that there is some brainwashing going on but trust me...there isn't. My hubby recently joined the church. None of his family is LDS. We live too far to go visit on weekends, but trust me if they lived close, we'd be over at thier house every Sunday! (We'd probably go to church first, but we wouldn't use church as an excuse not to see them)

    Do you specifically invite him over during church hours? If you find out when he goes to church and plan for him to be there after.....then he has no excuse. Does he have a church calling (job) that keeps him busy on Sundays? If he has a job at church (teaching or helping out with something during church hours then that may be why he feels bad leaving) Also some callings may require him to help after church.

    I think it's something you're really going to have to talk out with him.....(cont)

    Answer by Nika75 at 2:00 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Just please believe me that even though he may feel guilty bailing out on church or whatever that it's not the CHURCH pressuring him or brainwashing him or anything of the sort. He may get razzed for not being at church and take it personally, but I seriously doubt anyone would care if he misses a Sunday to see his family! Hope you get this resolved. I know it must be hard having a son in a different religion. My inlaws have been so wonderful and understanding since my hubby joined the church. But we have also been very open and fully informative with them. Maybe your son needs to really have a good chat with you and explain everything you're concerned about.


    Answer by Nika75 at 2:04 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • we invite him on Friday after school and he is usually picked up Sunday morning to go to church. He is very private as is his sister. They dont talk about anything going on inside. Their grandfather has told them that we are dirty filthy people because we dont go to a church. He tells them that their father is trash and should be ignored. Grandfather is Mormon. Whatever!!!!! Hes a stupid idiot anyway. But we think SS is beginning to go there. Hes a different boy.

    Answer by sparklesqrlpooh at 2:12 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

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