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Which is Better?

My ex. is hardly in my daughter's life. He has a drinking/pot problem and has bi-polar that he doesn't take med for. He has court ordered supervised visits. We have been divorced for 4 yrs and has seen her prob 8 times. I think he would run if I start taking him to court for child support. Since he only see's her 2x's a yr on his own free will should I start persuing him for the money knowing it may cause him t drop out of her life? I got sued for a credit card before christams and had to pay it off plus fees and interest because he hadn't made a payment in 4 yrs. It was in our divorce that he pay for it and I paid my 1/2 of the debt. Now I got stuck paying for his half and he is giving me attitude about paying me back. I hate to pay to go to court knowing he will never pay, but he is also causing my parents hell.

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ria7

Asked by ria7 at 11:50 AM on Feb. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 23 (15,224 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • so my question is, If I go after the money and know their is a chance he will go away should I feel responsible for taking him out of her life. He has not gotten treatment, he thratens my parent, he pays maybe once or twice a yr just so he can see her. I have bee a doormat because I feel she is safe with her family at these visits. I also feel the visits have helped her feel "normal" at school by being able to say she knows her dad. So what to do?
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 11:53 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • well idk what you Should do... i can tell you what i Would do... i would go after the money in hopes that he goes away or pays,,, you deserve the money, you deserve someone to be there for your kid, i know (my dh's friends from h.s.) many men with substance and emotional issues that still pay thier part of support and take their kids every weekend.... that is no excuse really! yeah i would go after him, esp with the credit card issues, why should you bear that burden alone??
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 11:58 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I think you should take him to court..get the child support that your child deserves..
    If he does go out of her life..it is because he
    choose not to be apart of her life..
    NOT because he has to pay childsupport..
    Every day we have choices and what he does has nothing to do with you taking him to court.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 11:59 AM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • If you need the money, then yes, take his butt to court. Sounds to me like she'd be better off without him.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 12:03 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Yes, it's your child's money to care for her. Don't cheat her out of things she needs. If he can buy pot he can pay child support.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:05 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I can live without the child support, but I can't contiune to pay his debt. he is so flaky still and is living high on life at one point and pawning everything and living in his truck 6 mos later. My daughter doesn't know any of this except that he has problems and can't take care of himself and he lives far away. I dread the day he just never calls her again and I have to comfort her through that. I don't want to see that broken heart let alone know I could have prevented it...but at what cost? I want her needs to come first!! So confused.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:07 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • No,do not feel responsible if he went away, it would be better for her if he left.
    Her safety must come first, if he is not taking his meds. is not under doctor supervision, than NO she should not see him.
    As she get older than you can tell her that he is not safe. Now you just tell her that he is sick. HER SAFETY MUST COME FIRST,
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 12:10 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • i would take him to court
    angel_megan

    Answer by angel_megan at 6:13 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

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