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For those of you who have placed a child up for adoption, did it matter to you whether or not the family already had biological children?

My husband and I are happily married and have 4 beautiful children. Due to medical reasons (severe hyperemesis), my husband and I have decided it's not safe for me to have any more children. We've always wanted a large familyand we'd like to exlore adoption. I'm wondering if a birth mother would even consider us since we already have 4 biological children. Both my husband and I have stable jobs, a great family support system, we own our home, and have plenty of love to share.

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4bridges

Asked by 4bridges at 1:41 PM on Feb. 26, 2009 in Adoption

Level 4 (54 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • The only thing that mattered to me was that they were able to provide a good home for my son. And that they gave him all the love he could ever want. but thats me. I will say I think about him everyday it was the hardest thing to do good luck with the adoption.
    Dorriansmom1984

    Answer by Dorriansmom1984 at 1:58 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • My very good friends have 3 older teenagers and 3 little children they are adopting.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 2:28 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • When I was placing my son for adoption it was very important to me that the couple did not have and could not have biological children. However I think this is different for everyone and their point of view. I know some women who placed their children felt it was important that the adoptive family had children. I was worried about favortism with a couple having biological children. I also wanted to ensure that my son kept his birth order (being the oldest).
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:59 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I agree with Blessed, its a personal thing & different for everyone. I too picked a family that had no children & could not have any. But that was just my preference. I know some women have chosen families because they had other kids...sooo...it just all depends.
    lisa89j

    Answer by lisa89j at 3:05 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I am not a BM. My family is also hoping to adopt. If I were looking for someone to adopt my child I wouldn't have a concern with other child. I think my biggest concern would be the blood pressure. I am sure you are but, I would if I were you I would make sure to get that under control. Ummmh I think it is wonderful that you want to do this. I think if I were you I would try foster to adopt. It doesn't cost. They won't turn you down as long as you have a loving, safe and stable home. Also those children need a home. You get to specify age and all. It also doesn't cost money to adopt through social services. Good luck.

    Love
    Michelle
    hopingforanange

    Answer by hopingforanange at 4:09 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • hopingforanange I think you mean hypertension. That is high blood pressure. Hyperemesis means excessive vomiting.

    Hyperemesis, or extreme nausea and excessive vomiting, occur in about 1% of pregnancies. This condition causes uncontrollable vomiting, severe dehydration, and weight loss for the mother. However, hyperemesis gravidarum rarely causes problems for the unborn baby.

    If inadequately treated, HG can cause renal failure, central pontine myelinolysis, coagulopathy, atrophy, Mallory-Weiss syndrome, hypoglycemia, jaundice, malnutrition, Wernicke's encephalopathy, pneumomediastinum, rhabdomyolysis, deconditioning, splenic avulsion and vasospasms of cerebral arteries. Depression is a common secondary complication of HG.
    miriamz

    Answer by miriamz at 4:17 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • When I first started the adoption process, I wanted a couple that were unable to have children. I ended up picking a family.
    IZs_mommy

    Answer by IZs_mommy at 4:18 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Thank You so much for everyone's input, and Thank You to miriamz for explaining hyperesmesis.
    I really don't want to get my hopes up about adoption as I know it's a very long process full of ups and downs. I know someone listed some information about WACAP on cafemom and I've already contacted them to get an information packet . I think the best thing for us will be to make sure our friends and our families know that we're interested in adoption (an infant, an older child, or a sibling group), and if a situation arrises we can deal with everything one day at a time.
    Thank You for all the information, and for the support!!!
    4bridges

    Answer by 4bridges at 5:16 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • My son's adoptive parents already have three biological children. It didn't bother me at all.. I know how important it is to grow up with siblings. They love him as much as they love their biolgoical kids. I would say, if there is any favoritism.. it's for him. Maybe because he's the only boy? I don't know.. but I love the special attention he gets!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Being the only child sucks...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:03 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

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