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How can i help a 17 yr old be a mother (foster child)

possibly gearing up to foster a 17 yr old mother of a 1 month old. how can i let her do it without being so motherly? (i have 3 of my own)

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Asked by seeingdreams at 2:06 PM on Jun. 18, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (10)
  • Just let her, if you think she is doing something wrong or a harder way than has to be, then say something like "hey would you like to see an easier way to do that" or something along those lines. IF she needs help she will ask you. Don't offer unless it is really necessary. If you get to "motherly" I am sure she will tell you.

    Answer by Hastaluvme at 2:19 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • just make sure you DONT ever take the baby from her without her asking or you asking for permission (my mil's family did this and i was furious)
    give her advise - she will mostlikely ask you for help
    if she looks like she is starting to get overly frustrated just let her know its ok to let the baby cry for a little on its own so she can take a breather and not get too stressed out.
    i know that when i brought my dd home from the hospital i was beggin my mom to stay the night cause i thought i was going to fall asleep and the baby would die and she knew better and said that if she was my crutch i would never learn to do things on my own and make my own decisions.

    Answer by vakatia at 2:23 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • My suggestion is be there for her and give her tons of support and let her know that if she needs anything all she has to do is ask. Like offering to get up with the baby and let her rest some night, or just offer her some relief sometimes.

    Answer by Mami2LelanChloe at 4:03 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • I agree, just try to be there for her. Support her anyway you can and try to help out without being overbearing. Think back to how your parents or in-laws may be or have been twords you. No body wants someone to tell them how to raise their kids but everyone needs advise and support every now and than :)

    Answer by Jessicaandelzie at 4:35 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • thanks so ,much

    Answer by seeingdreams at 4:42 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • be more of a friend rather than a mother

    Answer by dannersmell at 2:54 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • as a 17 year old mom of a 2 month old i love that my mom is here for me and supporting me. But the best thing you can do for her is let her do it on her own but be there to help guide her. give her advice without demanding she do it that way.

    Answer by SweetPoison at 9:56 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Don't baby sit unless she NEEDS you to, like for school. She needs to know she is the baby's mother and you are not. Encourage her to finish school and help her find joy in her baby.

    Answer by Pauline3283 at 6:52 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • Make sure she knows shes the mom, don't let her depend on you to care for her child, answer questions give advice and help out, but think of it as your grandchild. Be an extra pair of hands and a mentor.

    Answer by tabi_cat1023 at 9:07 PM on Aug. 11, 2008

  • just sit back and tell her "you are responsible for this child but if you need help just ask" dont just volunteer yourself take care of her baby. i know its kinda hard i do it with my friends and family. just snatch the kid up and instantly deal with them but she is mommy and she has to do it on her own.

    Answer by nattysmommie at 3:48 PM on May. 5, 2010

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