Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I am so lost please help me

When I was 8 months pregnant with my son my Husbands grandfather died.. He never met his grandson.. Now here I am 15 weeks with #2 and My Father inlaw calls my hubby and tells him his grandma has 6 months to live because of cancer in her lungs. I dont know how to talk to my husband about this cause I know he is close to her and all but this is screwing me up too. I will be about 8 months when/if she dies and I wont be able to go to her funreal. I wont be able to fly. this si what happend with his grandpa. Anyway what do I do What do I say. I love this woman even tho she thinks they way I raise my son is wrong.. My husband is so screwed up right now. what do I say to him to help what do I do..
Being pregnant and having this happen is messing with my emotions so badly.

Answer Question
 
TravisJohnsmama

Asked by TravisJohnsmama at 2:38 PM on Feb. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Well, I know you are stressed and it is causing stress to your family, but what you have to understand is that death is a perfectly normal experience. Everyone has death in the family. You deal with it, and you move on. It does not have to affect your emotions at all. It is something that will be, no matter if you are pregnant or not, something that no one can change. Just deal with it. Let him go to the funeral and grieve and then come back home and enjoy his new baby. It shouldn't be a big issue, as well all have love ones that die. If you cannot go, just extend your condolences to the family and leave it at that. Do not let it become a big issue in your lives. It is going to happen no matter what.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to mix grief with the birth of a new baby. All you can do is support each other as you walk through this. You can't fix this. All you can do is love him, and love yourself. You'll be okay. You've done it before, you can do it again.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 2:46 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • you need a close friend or other relative to help you with all of your emotions (normal and screwed up pregnancy ones) and be there for him and be strong for him, and whatever else he needs from you. go to your friend with your own emotions, cause guys will think they need to be strong for their women, and right now, he need you to be strong for him
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 2:54 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I feel for you. I've had to deal with a death during each of pregnancies, including this one (Im prego) With my 1st pregnancy my husbands gram died and it was hard. he spent every summer with her. I also had to deal with my brother passing. Especially when grandparents or eldery people die, you need to find comfort and express.. Hey, look how long we got to enjoy them. When you loose loved ones at a young age you really have to dig deep to find words to comfort. Its sad you cant travel for the funeral. but couldnt you travel now for a visit and show your hubby support now, while she's still alive. share your child with her now. children bring so mych joy. If you spend some time now, it will make the passing that much easier knowing you dont have a regret of last time you saw or talked. I know that helped us with his Gram, we visited her so much once she was sick.
    Kerinmomof2

    Answer by Kerinmomof2 at 2:54 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • let me add with my last pregnancy, my grandmother passed away mid Feb 06. I was due Mid March. Going through the services and standing through the church service was so hard. not emotionally for me. It was her time, my grandfather had been gone since 91' so it was time. She lived her life. It was physically so hard for me. I remember resting for like 3 days after the service, it took such a toll on my body. You dont know how you'll be feeling that far along in your pregnancy locally or of you had travel you might not be able to make it. which since you are already parents your husband should get that too. Take this news as an oppurtunity to enjoy the little moments, each day counts. we all dont know how long we'll be here. Since my losses during my pregnancy with my son, we really do think of that. I think honoring the people you've lost by living is the best thing you can do. really living... good luck
    Kerinmomof2

    Answer by Kerinmomof2 at 3:02 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.