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Is she going too far?

Ok, my fiance and I found out today that our baby is a girl. So of course, excited as I was I called parents, grandparents, friends, whoever I had a number for. Well when I called my grandmother to tell her the good news she was happy at first then she started telling me that I had to get married before our daughter was born or she couldn't take my fiance's name, I know it's not true but she's been trying to scare us into getting married early for a few months now and she's getting a little bent out of shape about it. I understand that she sees our living situation as "sinful" as she is a very religious woman, but I'm an adult and don't see a problem with us getting married when it's right for us. I've tried to explain to her that we have plans for the wedding we want and waddeling down the isle doesn't fit into it. So what do you think, is she going a bit too far trying to use scare tactics to rush us?


Asked by heratyc at 3:23 PM on Feb. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (962 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • She is doing as she feels is right. She loves you and wants what she considers is the best for you. That doesn't mesh with your feelings in the matter, but there it is. So let her urge you and lecture you. She feels that she must or she is not doing her duty by you. If she didn't say anything then she'd feel that she hadn't done all she could. Love her when she does the urging and understand that it is because she cares about you so much that she wants what she considers the best of everything for you. Something else to consider is that sometimes older people don't have much control in their lives and lecturing you makes her feel that she has that little bit of wisdom that she can offer you. Give her an extra hug when you see her to let her know you love her.

    Answer by Bmat at 3:31 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Yes.. but thats old ppl for ya.. my grandma is the same way... Old ppl!!!! LOL

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 3:26 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • She's old and probably no matter what you way to her she's too set in her ways to change her views. Let her say what she has to say and don't argue, just do what is best for you. Gotta love older people they always say what is on their minds whether it's mean or not. My great grandma likes to let people know they are fat. lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • What do you mean by "too far"? Sounds like she's just up to her usual tricks. Just turn a deaf ear to those comments.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 3:27 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • OMG that sounds just like my mil. she said (while i was pregnant) that if i didnt marry my boyfriend at the time (we are married now) that our baby would be born a bastard. i couldnt believe she said that. we waited until after the baby was born. my fil is a deacon of a church and they are very very religious and that had alot to do with why she said that. i would just ignore her.

    Answer by SThompson21 at 3:29 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I would just leave it alone. She means well. She comes from a different time..When if you were pregnant you got married. Just remember that when she is talking about it.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:32 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Eh, it wasn't right, but as you said, she's older and more conservative and though spouting her opinion isn't really needed she probably can't help herself and seeing as she's your grandmother she probably feels she has the right to do so anyhow. When I found out I was pregnant with my son the last time around I called to tell my grandmother and the first thing she said is "So, do you need money for an abortion?" just like that. It was very upsetting and not the reaction I had hoped for, but it was just my Granny being my Granny...she's like that with everyone so I forgave her and got over it. I just have to make sure she doesn't say anything ridiculous in front of him as he grows older. For instance, the other day she told him (he's 2 1/2) "Mommy's having a new baby and she's not going to have enough love left for you anymore." so i had to scold her and tell him Granny was crazy and didn't know what she was talking about.

    Answer by MommyToSmeech at 3:35 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • She's old and set in her ways. Let her say what she wants and then just brush it off. You can't change her mind anymore than she can change yours.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Feb. 26, 2009