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"Keeping the wife in line"?

My dh and I have been friends with this other couple for about 2 years now. I called her a few days ago to invite her to go with some other girls and I out for dinner and drinks this weekend. She said she would let me know, and then just called to say she couldn't because her husband wouldn't let her. I was dumbfounded by this, but then my dh told me that her hubby likes to keep her in line and in check. He then told me he knew all along that he restricted her activities and punished her for disobeying and such, and spanked her sometimes as some kind of discipline called Christian something or another. Well now I am shocked and worried for her . Could she be abused? Should I bring this up to her and ask or just leave it alone?

 
WishyClarkson

Asked by WishyClarkson at 7:14 PM on Feb. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 9 (305 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Wow! Is there a chance your husband misunderstood or possibly exaggerated the situation? Does this friend have any family or other friends that you could talk to about this first? She may be unhappy in this relationship but afraid to change it and therefore tolerates it. If this is the case, she would probably resent or be embarrassed by any direct inquiry from you. The best thing you can do is pray for her and let her know that you're there for her if she ever needs you.
    jburg2541

    Answer by jburg2541 at 8:18 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • well i wouldnt bring it up to her if she hasnt said anything to you but i could never put up with that.... he spanks her? how old is she, 7?
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 7:15 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I would call that abuse. He shows lots of signs of abusing her. However there is nothing you can do about it. Just be her friend as much as possible. I'm sure she needs one.
    And I'm Chrisitan and believe in submitting to my husband, but never any sort of abuse or restriction like that.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 7:21 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I would gently prod about their relationship to see if her marriage is what she thought it would be and if she's happy. Really though, I don't like it. Keeping her in line? Where are you guys, out of curiosity, the South? I'd keep an eye on her.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:23 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • If it is abuse, there's a good chance she'd lie to cover it up.

    There's also a pretty good chance she enjoys their relationship dynamic as much as he does. Lots of couples enjoy as Dominant/submissive relationship, and it isn't anything close to abuse. It is two consenting adults doing what works for them.

    I'd tell her what your husband told you, and ask about it. Act curious, not judgemental. Let her explain the details and see what you can pick up from her.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 7:26 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • hell yes that is abuse any man that hits a woman its a a@@
    nakita72

    Answer by nakita72 at 7:27 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Pick up from her reaction...not like you should learn to be like her, btw. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 7:28 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • any man who hits a woman is a pu@@y in my book and needs his a@@ kicked
    wendy232425

    Answer by wendy232425 at 7:31 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • Christian Domestic Discipline. I don't agree, but then again there isn't a whole lot about biblical practice I do agree with. To each there own. Here's link for you to learn more about the life style.
    http://christiandomesticdiscipline.com/home1.html
    MomShawn70

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 7:35 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • she prob. is and all u really and do is be her friend and maybe when she ready to say something to you she will but sooner or later if hes not hitting her he will and she'll get sick of it
    myangelelena

    Answer by myangelelena at 7:36 PM on Feb. 26, 2009