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A money situation...kinda long but GEESH GOSH GOLLY DARN

So...my bf took $100 out of our checking account. He hadn't said anything about it and I just happened to come across it today. So I asked him about it. Little to my surprise he immediately hops into an offensive state and gets all upset. Like I had no business asking him about it. His reply is I just spent it I don't know what on and that it's just gone and leave it at that. Mind you we are both working and barely making it paying bills and all. We're broke! The only time we spend $100 leisurly is on special freakin occasions.I'm 39 weeks we have a little girl on the way. And he thinks it's ok to just withdraw and blow $100 and not have to account for it.
i KNOW HE didn't get one darn thing for our daughter due next week. How can he be so selfish? Why does he think he doesn't have to tell me. My money goes in there justlike his.I told my sis in law about it and she couldn't beleive we didnt have separate accounts! Advice?

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MiMiBreezy

Asked by MiMiBreezy at 7:52 PM on Feb. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (60 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I can't believe you don't have separate accounts either. Not being married, I would have my own account and then a joint one for expenses. That way he can't spend any of 'your' money lesiurely. I would push the issue and make sure that he knows how tight money is and that it can't happen again. Money is a huge part of relationship so I would not just let it go. Good luck!
    kboney29

    Answer by kboney29 at 7:56 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • First (and please accept this in the helpful spirit intended), remember that you are hormonal right now and stressed about money to begin with. So, when you thought your BF got all defensive about how he spent the $100, you may be over-reacting (you MAY be!! not you ARE, ok?)
    Second, since he doesn't seem willing to tell you where the money went, just forget it or make up your mind that he must have bought something for YOU with it. The more you stress, the worse it will get and the money's gone, so stressing about it isn't going to bring it back.
    Third, your SIL is right! If this is not a one-time thing, you need to separate your money. I would do it anyway, since you aren't married. When I married my last husband, I told him I would NEVER share money with him (he was an idiot with money!) and it saved a LOT of fights. He had his list of bills, I had mine, and we NEVER talked about money EVER!
    jburg2541

    Answer by jburg2541 at 8:00 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • his other gf needed the money.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • My DF And I Had A Joint Account But BEFORE We Got It We Had A Long Discussion On Topics Like This. I Would Have Been Upset If My Boyfriend Just Spent $100 But It's Not Like You Can Get It Back Now. I Would Have That Discussion Now And Decide If You Need To Open Your Own Account.
    Kari_Noelle

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 8:04 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • how encouraging miss anon...lol Don't wish your personal experiences on me plz & thank-you
    MiMiBreezy

    Answer by MiMiBreezy at 8:16 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • oh and like i said we are broke and barely making it with a baby coming next week....thats the only reason why it is an issue. $100 is nothing but to two adults that can barely take care of themselves with another life coming into the picture...its wrong and there is no denying it. $100 is significant to us and could have went to use in some other more constructive way
    MiMiBreezy

    Answer by MiMiBreezy at 8:19 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • You shouldn't have a joint account....doesn't anyone watch Judge Judy??? Beauty fades, dumb is forever. He's grown and really has no obligation to tell you where HIS money went. Even with a joint account he can say that 100 was his and you can't do anything about it really. I would get separate accounts and have a joint if you must just for all bill money to go into. Then you can pay your bills and he can do whatever he wants with the rest....as can you. My guess is it'll be all your money that is going to your daughter's needs. I would hope Anon is wrong but why is he so defensive if he didn't take it out for a shady reason?

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 8:25 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • He did one of two things..he spent it selfishly on himself or he spent it on someone else. Either way he needs to figure out where that money went! You don't just forget where you spent $100! And unless he blew it a convience store, he had to have gotten a reciept for what he bought...that should've refreshed his memory! You have a right to be angry and I would seperate your accounts. Good luck! and congrats on the baby!
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 8:37 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I'm sorry you have to fight about money.
    I'm married and we have separate accounts but the money is for bills and whatever else we need or want. We dont' ask for the money, whoever has it gives it to the other person. But we are responsible and don't splurge and always tell the other what the money is for. We only have separate accounts in name only. What's ours is ours.
    Was that your last 100$?
    coutterhill

    Answer by coutterhill at 9:03 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I had my own account up until I quit work. I spent my money on daycare and things for my son and groceries, he paid all the other bills.
    smiley630

    Answer by smiley630 at 11:06 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

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