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Dh and I are under A LOT of stress lately (pregnant, other kids, in laws), so I got a sitter and asked him if he wanted to go to dinner. He said yes. I was so excited, we haven't been out in forever, we just got our taxes so we can afford to go somewhere nice. So I just asked him what time he wants to leave (it was like 5:30pm here) and he was like where we going? I told him don't worry about it, it's a surprise and he said "Well we better go now because the Laker game will be on soon." WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so irritated. I canceled our date and the babysitter, now I am just sitting here miserable. Should I be mad? Should I have canceled? Did I overreact? How would you feel?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Feb. 26, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I hardly think it's overreacting. That' sounds like something my DH would have said- INSENSITIVE!! If you have all this other stuff going on, and you haven't been out in forever one would think that he would leap at the opportunity to spend some time, but they do not think on our level, and I think that's the main problem. I would tell you to go out and have fun by yourself or with a GF, but if he's like mine, it wouldn't even faze him

    Answer by samwest at 9:04 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • That is something I would have done, overreacted. At least you were still going out.

    Answer by coutterhill at 8:56 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • You should have told him that he hurt your feelings with his reaction, and then you and he should have gone to a fairly quick food place. Or, you should have said wait a minute, you said you wanted to go out, I hired a babysitter, and I'm ready to go out. are you saying that you'd rather wait for another time when the Laker's aren't playing?
    No, I can't think of any way to make this better. He dropped the ball on this. Even in my first suggestion, there would still be hurt involved. During a commercial during the game. Turn down the volume and tell him that you were really looking forward to the evening out and had gone to some trouble to arrange it. That your feelings are hurt that he places that much importance on the game. (couldn't he have recorded it, by the way?) I don't know what he could say to make it better. That he is sorry and will be more thoughtful in the future? (more)

    Answer by Bmat at 9:06 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • continued:
    When you do bring this up with him. Don't call names, Don't refer to previous problems- keep it to this one issue. (don't say you always do this or that.) State your problem from your point of view (instead of you blew it, say I am feeling very hurt and upset.)
    You have every right to be angry and hurt. I wish I could say something to you to make it better, but I can't think of anything. (yes, something similar happened to me when the kids were little.)

    Answer by Bmat at 9:09 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • It seems like you two just each had different ideas of what a nice, kidless night would be. That's the problem with surprises sometimes. It is certainly understandable for you to be bothered because you had differrent ideas of how the night was going to be, but its also not his fault. I would just tell him what you were planning and explain why you got upset and see if maybe he'll be up for planning a nice night out again soon, when there isn't a Lakers game on!

    Answer by chillemi78 at 9:13 PM on Feb. 26, 2009