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I have a daughter that was molested

My dd was molested 2 years ago by her bio father. We are going to grand jury in March. She has finally started to get over it, now we have to do this. Ugh. I started a support forum for other mom's like me, because it could help so much to know others have gone through this and what they did. Any help?
Moms of Children that are Victims - http://www.cafemom.com/group/100364

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Yasmin

Asked by Yasmin at 8:57 PM on Feb. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • im so sorry that happen im glade she is geting help
    nakita72

    Answer by nakita72 at 9:05 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • its more important to know what to do for your daughter and dealing with it..its her trama not yours...I know..I went through it when I was younger...it was my stepdad..I kept it from my mom til I was married with my first child...she often would ask me if he was doing anything to me? But I always denied it..but it really messed me up growing up...figure out what to do for her...not yourself..she is the one who has this life changing experience to deal with , for the rest of her life..and it was her bio dad..that is even worse..just remember..put her first...she needs you more than anything...watch her actions and her decisions...be there for her.. I hope he dies in prison for what he did to her..no little girl deserves that...especially from someone they trust with all their heart...sorry to be so cold...but he will get his in prison...I am rooting for you..best of luck
    surpriseat41

    Answer by surpriseat41 at 9:13 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • It might be a little easier if she was older, she is only 9... 7 when it happened. She adores him still, so it is hard for me to think of it as her thing at this point. But I agree about the prison, if they put him there. He still has a choice to say NOT guilty, and then she will have to court... at 10 and testify in front of him. That worries me, because I don't think she will be able too, and then what did I put her through all of this for?
    Yasmin

    Answer by Yasmin at 9:30 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I am so sorry that this happened to your daughter, I have no advice really, just be strong and support her 100% by letting her know that is NOT her fault.

    Keep her busy, with sports, dance, art classes anything like that. Concentrate on her because you can not control what will ultimately happen to him, but I hope justice is served.
    3frogs1princess

    Answer by 3frogs1princess at 10:25 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • I send my prayers to your daughter and you she is blessed to have your love and support God Bless
    mom2fivekids579

    Answer by mom2fivekids579 at 10:34 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • have you sat down and talked to her about what is going on? that is why I said this is even worse because it is her real daddy...is there enough evidence without her testifying to put him away?
    surpriseat41

    Answer by surpriseat41 at 10:37 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • okay, i am not a mother of someone molested...i was molested. i was molested the first time when i was 3 and still remember some details. i was molested again a year or so later (forgive me i don't remember exact ages) by a different person. the second person later molested me for over 4 years (i couldnt tell you exactly how long because i dont remember when it started up again). the first person went to jail and is out. the second person has never paid for his crime against me.

    i dont think i had to testify...if i did, i don't remember it. i could ask my mom. more important than this trial will be the future. it is going to be very hard and you may not even realize it. my mom didnt know about the second person until a year after it stopped. i have not had it easy and i never know if it is because of what happened to me or if its just me. my life hasn't been horrible, but harder than a lot of people. continued.......
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 10:41 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • continued.

    i could write on here forever about my life experiences and what i would reccommend, but there are limits on the number of characters.

    basically i really want to help you and i would love to help any one else with questions on this topic. so please, ask and i will do my best to answer them all as clearly and quickly as i can. i feel this topic is very important. and i am so sorry that you have to go through this. i wish you the best. please send me messages with questions if you have them and i willdo my best. i am sorry.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 10:43 PM on Feb. 26, 2009

  • if she has to testify, can you ask for he to give a private testominy to the judge, with out dad, and maybe even with out you, there?

    i'm sorry if i sound calloused or not caring, but i have really no experience with something like this
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 3:29 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • ok i was rapped when i was 22.went to the hospital and all.i have servere anxiety attacks and depression.i do go to therapy.i think what may happen whith your daughter is she may not clearly remember this now.but in a couple of yrs this could all come flying back.its in the back of her mind right now she could even be repressing it.i am really sorry but she will never be the same and she is so little i cant imagine.tears....the best advice i can give to you is is to be there for her no matter what.i mean really be there.nobody was there for me they went against me.i struggled myself.just watch and listen take her cues.and when he does go to court i hope they chop his you know what off cause i truly think casteration is the only thing...do you know of any groups on here for people who have been rapped???maybe its a start up????sorry and a big hug for your daughter...
    snowmom974

    Answer by snowmom974 at 8:46 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

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