Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My husband is hispanic and I am caucasian. We have not had any large cultural difference problems, but me and my in laws is a different story. They refer to me as the white woman.

They will call me by my name when speaking to me, but when speaking of me they call me the white woman in Spanish. Our 2 year old son they will only call white boy in Spanish. He doesn't know this as his name so he doesn't respond when they talk to him. Instead of calling him by his real name they just yell white boy louder and meaner, like this will work. I don't like this at all. I think it is wrong to wittle a person down to the color of their skin and nothing else! I can't imagine how offended they would be if I refered to my SIL as the brown woman or her son as the brown boy. I would be called a racist and would be an outcast. I have told my husband how much this hurts me and he says it is just a cultural difference. That nicknames that refer to a person's physical features is normal and I am being easily offended. But they call everyone else in the family by their name and not a nickname.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Jul. 25, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (27)
  • didn't have enough room. Why should I have to respect their culture when they don't respect mine? Especially when they moved to my country. A country that looks down on racism.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Jul. 25, 2008

  • You should tell him you are not being sensitive. Besides your son is not just a white boy he is both hispanic and white. So they are being racist there especially if they are not calling him by his name when they are trying to get his attention. Tell your husband that you can handle them calling you white woman behind your back, but trying to use white boy as your sons name is wrong.
    ramita

    Answer by ramita at 5:04 PM on Jul. 25, 2008

  • Maybe it is cultural. I would specifically post for hispanic women and ask them if this is so. You never know. I would think your husband would be offended if it was a racist statement. I have a neighbor who calls her kids "the girl and the boy". She isn't hispanic though. See what you get from another post. It will be interesting to get those answers. That's what I love about this site. Where else could I get opinions from women of all backgrounds and lifestyles?
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 5:32 PM on Jul. 25, 2008

  • I live in a predominantly Hispanic area, and my son gets called huerito all the time. While huera can be used as an insult, it's usually not meant that way. The locals love my boy's blond hair and pale skin, so to them it's a complement to call him white boy.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 5:51 PM on Jul. 25, 2008

  • girl get used to it im married to a hispanic too and its never going to stop
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Jul. 25, 2008

  • Your husband family are just being disrespectful.....You husband is in denial .....Did you tell him that they also do the same hing to your son ? He is going to have to catch them in the act....I am sure they are doing this behind his back.....They should show you the same respect as every one else and call you by your name. You are the mother of his child and his wife and they should all grow up.....
    momofalicia

    Answer by momofalicia at 7:50 PM on Jul. 25, 2008

  • I am hispanic and i have heard of this...my family doesnt do this but i know what you are talking about.It could be because they cant pronounce the names with their accent.Some of my in-laws speak only spanish and they call my son his name in the spanish version.BUT>>>If it hurts your feelings i would have it stopped!They need to respect you and your wishes.Your husband needs to understand that you want it stopped and tell them to call you by your name or not call you at all.
    joshismommy

    Answer by joshismommy at 7:59 PM on Jul. 25, 2008

  • I would not stay overnight at their house because one day your son will learn what they are calling him and wonder why yall put up with it. when visiting, and they start this, ask them to call him by his name and if they don't, LEAVE. if your hubby won't leave with you, leave him. He will be fine!
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 8:21 PM on Jul. 25, 2008

  • My daughter is white, married to a Mexican. She loves his family and they love her....my daughter went to meet them for the first time last year for Christmas. I think a lot of the reason why they do so well is that my daughter learned to speak their language. She didn't know spanish until she married her husband. Now she talks to her inlaws in Mexico all the time. As for your husband, I think he just doesn't want to deal with the situation since it puts him in the middle. BUT if he really loves you he would stop them from referring to you and your son in those terms. IF NOT, then return the favor........if you can be white woman.........they can be brown. Fair is fair, right?

    Well, that's my opinion. Hope it helps.

    pac1149

    Answer by pac1149 at 8:31 PM on Jul. 25, 2008

  • That is disgusting!! You tell them to stop with the ignorant comments or no more visits with the grandkids!!
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 8:35 PM on Jul. 25, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.