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Steam is literally coming out of my ears!! Are there any charges I can file??

I had my daughter about 5 months ago and I had not left her for more than 15 minutes. So my MIL brought it up several times and finally convinced my husband and I to go on a date night. I built up enough pumped milk to leave her for 2 hours while we went to a movie and made plans for MIL to babysit. So in the two hours that we were gone she took our baby in her car, she does NOT have a car seat in it, and got MY daughter's ears pierced WITHOUT our permission!!!! She claims she wanted to do it for a "nice surprise". She KNEW that I did not want to pierce her ears until she was much, much older, like when she turned 12 years old. When DD was born MIL and SIL asked when I was going to pierce her ears and I politely made it clear that I didn't want to put my daughter through any unnecessary pain for my selfish, vain wants. I think my daughter is beautiful and doesn't need anything else to make her look "pretty". --Contintued--


Asked by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Feb. 27, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (37)
  • Man! What a b****!! I have had MIL trouble too, but this takes the cake. She is absolutely unbelievable!! I agree with the rest of the answers, don't ever, ever let her be left alone with your daughter or any other children you may have. If your husband must keep a relationship with his family, which I suspect he does, keep visits short and few. You should write down everything you have going through your head in a letter and give it to her. It will help you to get it off your chest. Make sure you and your husband stand as a team against her actions. I don't know exactly what police report you could file....but there may be grounds for a temporary restraining order, especially if she committed fraud by signing as the mother. I feel so awful for you and your little one. Unfortunately your MIL is someone you will have to deal with for a long, long time.

    Answer by AnnaMac at 4:01 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • --continued-- Personally, I believe she did this just to spite me. She pierced her daughter's ears when she was a baby and SIL pierced her daughter's ears when she was a baby. Like I said, when I told them I wasn't going to pierce my daughter's ears at such a young age I was very polite to them and they did not seem offended and had not brought it up since. I am guessing they thought my beliefs were ridiculous and she was gonna "show me". I am furious! My husband is too, but he does not want to cut off ties with his mom or do anything dramatic. As far as I am concerned MIL cut off ties with me the moment she did this! Needless to say she will never spend a second around my children unsupervised.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Wow! Words cannot express how angry that would make me! I don't know if you'd have grounds for any charges or not, but I agree with you completely! I'd have to tell her, "hope you enjoyed your little victory because it's the last time you will watch my daughter, EVER!" Are you leaving the earrings in?

    You have my sympathy!

    Answer by Mishelly728 at 1:23 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • No. Earrings are already out and DD ears are healing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I would be pissed too if my MIL (or anyone) did something with one of my children I didn't want done- even though I don't see anything wrong with piercing a baby's ears. But she did it against your wishes and you have every right to be pissed. I'd be more pissed about not having a carseat!!
    I wouldn't press any charges or cut off any ties with my family- that's a little extreme to me. Take the earrings out and in a few days they'll be closed up. From now on don't let your MIL babysit.
    I'm not sure how she got her ears pierced because a parent is needed to sign the forms. I would call and complain to whoever did it.

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 1:26 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Good for you! I wouldn't have known whether to slap her in the face or cry!

    Answer by Mishelly728 at 1:26 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Grandparents have the right to consent to medical treatment, so I'm sure the laws apply to this as well. I agree about the car seat thing. That is the only thing you may be able to bring charges about-- child endangerment.

    What would bother me the most is the deviousness and manipulative way she went about this! I try to be pretty forgiving, but that would be a tough one for me!

    Answer by Mishelly728 at 1:28 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Do you know where she got your DD's ears pierced? I would take a look at the form, because PARENTAL consent is needed, and if she fraudulently signed her name as her parent, you HAVE to have some legal ground to stand on. Although she broke the law driving with your daughter unrestrained, I don't think there is anything you can do since she wasn't caught in the act. But i'd check into it anyway. I would be furious as well...I couldn't even imagine how i'd have enough composure to not knock my MIL's lights out if she did that to me.

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 1:30 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • WOW! I am so sorry that this happened to you! That is more than disrespectful, it's just horrendous! Frankly, I would have a very distant relationship with her from now on. Your husband needs to back you up on this, and make him be the one to explain things to her when she complains. She'll dismiss you and your concerns, but if he's the one to express them, then she can't. ARGH! This makes me really mad!

    Answer by evwsquared at 1:31 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • "Grandparents have the right to consent to medical treatment, so I'm sure the laws apply to this as well."

    It may depend on where you're from, but here in Cali, my mom can't take my kids to the doc, or consent to medical treatment without my written consent. I did have my DD's ears pierced, my mom was with me, and my mom tried to sign the paper since I was holding DD, but they wouldn't let her sign it because she needed a parents signature. Just my own personal experience with that.

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 1:34 AM on Feb. 27, 2009