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dicipline of a 5 yr old defiant boy

my nephew is 4 will be 5 in march and refuses to take any time outs or dicipline at my house. i run a daycare so spanking is not an option. ( that is what his mom used before she died in may of last year) he will purposely antagonize all the other kids and then refuses to comply with dicipline of any kind or to acknowege his behavior or me. my brother cant afford other care and i want to help him but i cant let this go on! he is constantly coming home to deal with him and it is affecting his job. what do you think i should do ?

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Asked by allforthelove at 6:07 AM on Feb. 27, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 8 (230 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • I'm sorry to hear this. I would think he is acting out this way because of the loss of his mom. He's still hurting and misses his mom. Maybe some canceling would help him. I think he's just at a loss and does not know how to show his feelings with this loss of his mom. Maybe the pain he feels inside is why he is antagonzie the other kids. You just have to keep in mind he has feelings too and I think it just goes back to the loss of his mom the reason he is doing this.

    Answer by breezy2005 at 7:35 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I agree with PP - counseling would be best - your nephew has been traumatized and if he hasn't learned how to process all the emotions caused by her death, it will affect his behavior negatively - think PTSD - it will affect the rest of his life and how he relates/interacts with everyone. He needs counseling, probably good play therapy. You might, if you can, talk to him through toys - have him act out with toys what he's feeling, why he behaves like he does. Also, keep giving him as much gentle positive reinforcement as you can - even for little things if they seem to be significant. Don't over-praise, but just give him positive focused attention as much as you can. Find what interests him and help him learn how to express his emotions through it - if he likes coloring, have him color his emotions and then talk with his dad about it; if he likes hitting, find something like a pillow or hitting bag for him to hit...

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:02 AM on Feb. 27, 2009

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