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What can I do?

I am having issues I dont know what do to about them.......My children are treating me horribly....I ask for something to be done and all I get is a fight........I take away everything possible....I feel like a stranger in my own home...my DH is starting to not help with anything I mean he does a little housework but not a hole lot. Im getting so fustrated I feel as tho I am totally going to loose my mind. I know It doesnt sound like much more than what others go thru but I really feel like hiding and not doing a darn thing neither but then the house would be even more disgusting than it already is.........am i just overreacting or what can i do with out becoming more of a stanger

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girlsmommie

Asked by girlsmommie at 10:47 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You are going to have to put your foot down. You are the mom and your responsibility is to teach your kids to be responsible adults in the future. When we don;t do our jobs/chores there are consquences right? So give them the same thing, if they can't help you they don't get play time, park time or what ever it is they love to do that is a privildge to them. It works trust me, it worked with me growing up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • My DS isn't really old enough to help yet, he's only old enough to tear my whole house up. I can keep his attention for long enough to get him to pick 2 or 3 toys up and that's it. My DH doesn't like to clean at all, he hates it. But he's slowly getting better at it. check out www.flylady.net it's helped me out A LOT... i'm finally starting to get my house back in order. Good luck! :o) Oh, and there's also a lot of cleaning groups on here.. great for helping to motivate you and to vent in if need be. Feel free to add me if you like.
    jamie8506

    Answer by jamie8506 at 12:23 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • I would suggest you go DRILL SERGEANT on them! I got so fed up with the situation that I went through and that your currently going through. Until I decided that I had enough! It's time for you to be DOMINANT. The woman of the house controls everything and you have to constantly think that. No more whining, Make them all respect you! Sometimes you have to show tough love such as telling them, if they want something from mommy, they have to do something for me, also as far as your husband goes, tell him that your not the only one that lives here you also live here too, so get up and help me around the house or you will be living out of it. A family needs to stick together and help around the house. I was always raised by that rule. If you don't become the dominant one in this situation you will be run over for the rest of your life. Don't take the BS!
    Sexymom75

    Answer by Sexymom75 at 12:27 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • Sometimes a mom has reached the end of her rope and no one even notices or cares....Make them notice. Stop! Stop doing everything that holds that house together...HIT the picket lines..."mom on strike"...it works for major companies and It can work for the CEO's of the home. If the work doesn't get done...someone will have to pick it up...or they won't eat, have clean clothes or any of the other comforts that you provide. Make a sign and hang it up ...list your demands and stick to your guns until they are met. They may think that it is funny in the beginning...until they discover that they have no clean undies... No clean undies equals not sooo funny. Good Luck..take that time to re-charge your batteries..do something good for yourself..you deserve it.
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 3:48 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • I have these issues all the time in my house, and I think I am going to go totally insane. I have had to change my focus a bit and yes it does make you feel like a stranger in your home, but guess what? You are not, you are the weave in the fabric that keeps the whole thing rolling smoothly. I have had to learn techniques in helping me to maintain a certain amount of dignity while still feeling crazy inside. I do lose it sometimes still and start spouting out orders, but I know the whole time I am doing it that they don't respect me when I act like that. I don't know if you believe in God, but I started praying and asking Him for help, because I knew I couldn't do it on my own.
    BreakingFree

    Answer by BreakingFree at 8:45 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • What I do now when the kids are fighting over something - I give them a project to do, everyone has a part to play in it, I instruct them (without demanding) what to do, explain each ones part, tell them to start, I stand by watching, I walk away, if they don't begin to do it, then it time out for them, or rest time in their room, no toys, no nothing... eventually they get the picture and then they will begin to work as a team. I got so tired of cleaning up toys all the time, that this has been a god send to me, now my 2 and 3 year old are cleaning up their own toys daily - I also started a reward chart for them - this gives them an incentive to continue and be consistant every day. My 11 year old is a whole lot better just since I started this...it can be done, I just had to get my head screwed back on straight before I could continue training them the right way..
    BreakingFree

    Answer by BreakingFree at 8:47 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • As for the hubby, mine works all day in the hot sun, I stay home, I don't push him any longer to do the things I need or want him to do. I started making sure he had a dinner cooked everyday to come home to, giving him a few minutes to relax, shower, time with the kids, and then if something needed done, I will ask him and he will usually do it. We had major issues with me not having anytime for me - we have worked through that, without me nagging or screaming at him about what I need.. and now I can get that time it is all in how I go about making it known that I need it. I have learned that my husband is not a mind reader...
    BreakingFree

    Answer by BreakingFree at 8:48 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • apply to that TV show, "Wife Swap".
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 9:48 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

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