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should i be worried?

an old friend of my husbands came to visit last week and he met up with her a few times. they never dated, but he told me he used to like her a lot before he met me. he said they were going to meet up with a group of friends, but he also went to a movie with her one night. he told me about the movie and the group outing, but not about this: i saw on her myspace she posted pics of them in like a photo booth or something together. they look a little too happy and are sitting a little too close for my comfort. what do you think? how would you feel if your husband were out taking pics with an ex or someone he used to like and didn't tell you about it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Feb. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I would have a talk with him, just reading your question; I am uncomfortable with it and he is not my DH. Friendships can be either sex, but it is a group type thing and not one on one with the opposite sex, if he dont get the hint, this could lead to big trouble for your marriage.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 7:03 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Personally, I would be pissed. I would've been on those outings with him. No way in Hell would my husband be off galavanting with an old crush. Of course, he probably didn't see anything wrong with it. Sometimes, men just don't get it. Ya know? On the other hand, if I were the "friend" I would've thought twice about first of all, taking such pics; second of all, posting them on Myspace knowing that he has a wife and that kind of thing is just not appropriate.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • well, I'm usually the one to tell women to get over it because almost all my friends are male - but I would worry in this case. Like I said, I have lots of male friends and maybe I would post a pic of us on myspace, but I would be honest with my husband about it. I think it's the sneaking around that you have to worry about.
    LadyAronna

    Answer by LadyAronna at 7:05 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Wow. i think I'd be a little more than upset. Going to a movie with someone...even just a "friend" is like a date to me...because this friend is of the opposite sex....by other viewers in the movie...probalby also looked like a date. i think it's strange. I'd confront him and put my foot down. The picture thing would bother me A LOT. Very wrong IMO.
    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 7:09 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I guess my only other thing is, why didn't he ask you as his wife, to come with him?
    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 7:12 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Um!  I'm wondering why you didn't go with them in the first place.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 7:19 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • i couldn't go with him cause he went after work(the movie was at 10:30), and i was at home with our daughter and i don't drive. i feel like he didn't want me to meet her. i think in his mind he thought he was doing good by not telling me because he knows i get jealous and paranoid sometimes. but i think that if he keeps keeping stuff from me i have a reason to be jealous and paranoid.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I'd give my hubby hell if I found recent pictures of him snuggled up to some woman-- friend or not. That sounds way too much like a "date" and not "2 friends just hanging out". It might be a good idea to talk to hubby about it, let him know you saw the pictures and are upset. It also might be a good idea to meet the woman and casually remind her that he IS a married man.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 7:32 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I would be upset about it if it was me. I would be the most bothered by the fact that he didn't tell me about it. When things are withheld like that, you have to wonder what is he trying to hide? I would definetely let him know I saw the pictures and ask for an explanation.
    mamahoney400

    Answer by mamahoney400 at 7:37 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Married men should not go on dates, outings, field trips, whatever with another woman. Ever. It's just not right. To have female friends at work, church, etc, no problem. But, going out with them without your wife...not cool.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

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