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Why am I still so angry?

Okay so I haven't been with this guy in about 6 years and today i looked him up on myspace and got so angry. He was abusive to me, physically and verbally, he was arrested for being caught choking me in the car, he stole my identity two years after I stopped talking to him. And it angers me that he is off doing what he wants when he didnt get to pay for what he did to me. He has pics at the club and holding guns! Why am I still so angry about it. I have an amazing man in my life. So why do I still feel angry and cant just let it go?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Feb. 27, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (13)
  • O we were together only for about a year. He spent one night in jail for choking me since I didnt press charges. He spent I think 30 days in jail for stealing id's.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • its hard. he had a hold of you...(i don't mean physically). its normal. you aren't over what happened to you. and that is nothing against the man in your life now. i would reccommend finding a therapist or someone to talk about your feelings. you were seriously violated in many ways.

    also, don't look him up on myspace.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:42 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Maybe thats why your so mad, cuz you didn't press charges when you should have. Who knows what that scum could be doing to other women now. I am in no way bashing you, I understand what its like. But maybe you feel guilty for not letting him have the kind of justice he really deserved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • That was a traumatic time for you. It's understandable that you would hold on to that anger and hurt. This will sound very generic but, I'm going to say it anyway...By holding on to this anger you are letting him still have that power over you. It's only hurting YOU. Try to find a way to let go of it. See a counselor if you need to. You deserve to have freedom from that hurt.

    Answer by nowhinning at 9:44 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I know. I was so bored though. And I just want him to pay. I feel so bad for thinking that but I do. I saw a therapist who was no help. I've actually seen 3 therapists, been in two types of outpatient group therapy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I don't think you have had closure yet. Since he didn't have to really pay for what he did to you I think you still have a lot of anger about it. I would probably feel the same way.

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 9:44 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • You all are right and I dont think you are bashing me anon. because maybe you are right. He used me so badly. He damaged my car...just so much. I lost a lot of friends because of him. I really hope he isn;t hurting anyone else.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • That last line of what you said you hope he isn't hurting anyone else, might be another reason why you feel angry, because you think if he is maybe you could have done more to stop him from hurting someone else. So not only are you angry but you may feel a little guilty too.
    You can't blame yourself, you were going through hell with this guy and I am sure you just wanted to be as far away from him as you could get, and probably the reason you didn't press charges or do more was for that same reason, you just didn't want him in your life anymore.
    I don't blame you I would still be angry too, but I wouldn't go looking him up anymore it would just make it worse.

    Answer by ednakrabapple at 9:53 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I can understand why you feel the way you do... not sure what to tell you, but just close that chapter in your life and move on...karma is a bitch... just remember that :)

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 9:55 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I was once with an abusive man. I don't know why, but I still hear the things he used to say to me. It was the sort of thing where he criticized everything I did. I'm over it. I've moved on. I'm married and have a beautiful son and the best husband I could imagine. Still, I open a cereal box and think of how I am doing it wrong, I drink from a soda can and think how I "drink like a fat woman," I pluck my eye brows and think about how horrible they are, I pinch the fat on my belly and think of how "soft" I am (when I ended that relationship I was 85 lbs, I am not 95 lbs and 5 feet tall). I don't know why it's so hard to let go. They get into your head and it's hard to worm it out. Just know that in time you'll heal. He doesn't have power over you anymore, stop letting him in. You are better then that. As he gets older it will get harder to find girls nieve enough to put up with his crap.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

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