Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what to do about MY MOM

My mom is great but since i had my daughter(her 1st and only grand child) she has been out of control. She gets mad when i dont let her take the baby when ever she wants to. we just went on a va-k to florida and she called me every day just to see how the baby was. I have tried to talk to her but it just seem to go in one ear and out the other. i dont know what to do, I will drop her off with my dad and as soon as she finds out she goes right over there and trys to take over, I know she means well and has helped me when ever i need her, but how do i tell her with out hurtting her feelings that i need some space and when i want her to take the baby i will let her know

Answer Question

Asked by CourtnieR at 9:57 PM on Feb. 27, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Try to be patient with her - being a grandma is GREAT! You'll see one day, when it happens to you.

    Answer by ProudTxGrandma at 10:04 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Just turn it into your issue. I tell mine "I can't take being away from her"...the phone calls can't really hurt, but having someone show up and take your baby away all the time is really disruptive.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 10:06 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • sounds like she's got some healing to do around trust.

    Answer by GoddessNats at 10:10 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I believe in honesty in any relationship. If your mama loves you she will fully understand; feelings hurt or not. It's your life hun not your moms. Just let her know you appriciate her and love her to help just to give you tiny bits of space. I wish my family was trust-worthy and willing to take my son.

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 11:47 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Enjoy it now wait till you have a couple. Just deal with it she is ur mommy!

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 11:59 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I assume that you live in the same town as your mom.
    Your only recourse is to move. If you are against that, you may just have to deal with it.
    It is great to have a grandparent want to be around the children---some people are not that fortunate.

    Answer by emme1964 at 12:33 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • Granparents can be amazing, first be thankfull that she cares, to many times you hear the opposite.

    But if it is really becomming a problem then you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your mom, nothing you do is going to make it hurt less, but putting some ground rules in place now will make it easier in the future.

    Let her know that you are happy that she loves her grandbaby as much as you do, that you love seeing her interact with ??????(dd's name) that it is amazing to watch, but that she needs to slow down a little and give you some breathing space. Then explain what is "wrong". No accusation just how it makes you feel, try to keep it as little about her and more about you, and listen when she talks. Her feeling may get hurt at first but they can't resist the grandbabies so they forgive, and move on.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:57 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • We older moms think younger moms can't do it all as well as we can. I'd just politely tell her "Mom you taught me all that I need to know. Have faith in that. I'll be fine with the baby. I love you but you had your time now let me have mine. "

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:04 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • admckenzie is right, you should sit her down and explain to her that she got to be a mom, and she did a wonderful job, and taught you all you need to know in order for you to be a great mom as well. I would also mention that you trust your dad with your baby or else you wouldnt allow him to watch her and you ask that she respect that decision and let him have his turn as well. Let her know that you value her imput and appreciate all her hard work, but you think that you could handle doing most of it on your own, but tell her that you will still call if you need help (and then call just 2 make her feel needed, say something like, " dd has a slight temp of 99.2, i just wanted to make sure i was right in giving her a dose of tylenol" obviously you know thats right, but it will assure her that you know what to do.)

    I wish my mom was the type of person who i could trust w/ my dd, and even then i wish she wanted 2 be more involved

    Answer by chipper87 at 1:09 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.