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19 and pregnant. how to tell the parents....

as u know i am 19 years old. first time expectant mother sometime around august or september and i need help on trying to tell my parents. i am living with my fiance (which they dont agree with and also dislike him) and they r upset because i havent gone furthur in college yet. i graduated college but i still want to further my education. they r going to kill me! please help me on easy ways to let them know??

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Feb. 27, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (12)
  • I was 18 when I got preg with my first. I still lived at home. I knew they would not approve and be upset. I just said to them "I need to tell you something and I know it might hurt you but you need to know anyway" My parents were disappointed but excited about a grandchild. You will do fine. But the longer you wait the harder it will be.

    Answer by tifanishelby at 11:50 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Just start out by telling them, "Sometimes in life you hear things that might upset you but that are actually blessings and turn into the best thing that ever happened to you. You're going to be a grandparent and I hope that you're as excited as (your fiances name) and I are even if you don't agree on the circumstances." I mean really what are they going to say to that? :) Good luck hun!

    Answer by usbornebooksdh at 11:53 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • im 19 and was living at home still when i told my parents. im due in august. i told my mom first after my bf of course and she didnt believe me. after shock she became excited. my dad on the other hand kicked me out a few weeks ago because of it. so idk you dont live at home anymore and you plan on getting married to the man your with so im sure they will be excited. your a grown woman now and can make your own choices in life. good luck :]

    Answer by Naivenewcomer at 11:53 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • exactly what the other person said. I'm 18 and my first is due march 30th. i told my parents about a week or two after i found out. they're just going to be more upset if you wait to tell them. so sooner is better than later. i just told them that my (now husband, then boyfriend) and i had to talk to them, and they kinda knew since i wouldn't go without him. They'll have a hunch, and mine turned out to be a lot more accepting of it than i thought! now they can't wait to be grandparents. I promise it will be okay!

    Answer by knjones at 11:55 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • I was 18 and still lived at home. I was so scared of telling my parents. I knew they were going to be upset. I wrote them a letter, gave it to my sister to give to them and left for the
    When I returned 30 minutes later, I expected my dad to be standing in the front yard ready to kill me. Of course he wasn't. They weren't happy at first. They know how hard it is to raise children. After the initial shock they were ok with it. They didn't have much of a choice. I was 18 and it was my decision. And besides, it's their grandchild. They weren't not gonna love him for my mishap. That was 17 years ago and many more grandchildren have come along.........even my sister having one at 16. I think I broke them in for
    Good luck to you.

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 11:56 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Will I think you should take them out to eat, with your fiance and just tell them you have good news. I hope you picked a good man, you will find out soon .
    very important why do they not like your BF? it can be very important.

    Answer by gammie at 11:57 PM on Feb. 27, 2009

  • Honestly, if you guys are supporting yourselves and are able to support your baby, then the worst they can do is complain. Sometimes parents just don't agree with the choices we make, I for one get to listen to my parents complain about me living with my fiance too, and I'm almost 26, but after a while you either learn to ignore it or you have to tell them to back off. As for telling them, unless you live far away from them it would be better to tell them in person, obviously if you don't live very close a phone call will have to do, but if you can tell them in person it's usually better.

    Answer by heratyc at 12:12 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • I was lucky when it mattered. My mom had told me to call her the second I knew I was pregnant. I had been married for a little over 8 months when I got my BFP. I waited a day and then called her after it had sunk in a little bit. She didn't mind hearing over the phone because she wanted to know ASAP.

    Honestly... find the way that's easiest, but do it sooner rather than later. If you have a really hard time with it, you might want to wait until you start your second trimester and the risk of miscarriage goes significantly down.

    Answer by tyheamma at 12:16 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • Oh sweetie I am seriously in the same boat with you. I found out I was pregnant this past December (I was 20) and was TERRIFIED of telling my parents. They are very strict and I knew this would be the worst part of being pregnant. I kept putting it off and it just got harder and harder for me to get the courage to tell them. I am down at school so right before my 21st bday in January, I wrote an email to my parents, (I felt this was the best way for MY family to find are the only one who knows the right time and the best way to tell them) and sent it. My mom was furious at first but within a few days was fine. My dad on the other hand didn't talk to me for a month. He is now though which is good. To my surprise they're reactions weren't as bad as I thought (we always expect the worst) and I felt A MILLION times better once they knew and now I am finally excited about it. Just do it! I promise it will be fine :)

    Answer by Ash9724 at 12:21 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • thank you! all of your opinions help a great deal! i know my parents are going to be furious! but my finace (Tilley) andi have been together for a little over a year and now live together and i had an abnormal perios in december then missed january and now feb. i had to wait till i got my insurance which is march 1st to get a doc apt. so havent even been able to go to the doc apt yet. but im scared. i took a preg test dec 12th and it said negative. then my pastor (my fiances uncle) came over on the 18th and said sweetie your pregnant! min d u i was on my irregular dec perios when he told me which usually stated the 15th.

    but tilley n i are very excited but very scared! my sister is the onte i usually turn to b/c she got prg at 19 n had her daughter when she turned 20 but that was 4 years ago!

    Answer by HolleyT at 12:48 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

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