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So if I ask attachment parenters why they parent that way they...

Gve me all the reasons why it's better for their kids and that they love it.

then I ask a question to NON attachment parents why they do the thing they do, or don't do other things, they get defensive and say it's none of my business how they raise their kids and why do I care anyway?


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Asked by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on Feb. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (23)
  • Maybe attachment parent's are more open with their feelings and such which is why you get such a personal informative answer. Possibly non-attachment parent's feel they are being attacked because they don't know how to properly express themselves. Who know's I've really no clue!

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 6:59 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • I don't know. Maybe people feel guilt for their parenting decisions, and feel they HAVE to justify it? I have never met an AP parent who needed to get defensive for their parenting choices.. :) I do notice that many women on here, in general, feel they have to *justify* themselves to everyone even when no question or criticism was made.

    Answer by celticreverie at 7:21 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • Then you're asking the wrong non-attachment parenting parents.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 7:37 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • who knows? i'm going to BF my baby when she's born but as for the other things i think not... it's dangerous to sleep with a baby unless you're like an extremely light sleeper which i'm definately not. i would be too afraid of rolling on top of her to even try. as for the cry it out method, sometimes that's ok because that helps to develop the baby's lungs but i don't believe in just letting them scream constantly.... i don't think a parent has to be constantly in physical contact with their child in order to form a close bond, but some people do. and besides, some alone time never hurt a baby, it teaches them that you will come back no matter what and builds trust. i'm not saying you should leave your baby unattended, ever, but laying him/her in their crib or on the couch or floor or whatever for a little while isn't going to hurt them

    Answer by pringles_697 at 7:39 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • pringles, you have a gross misconception of what attachment parenting is lol. like many non-ap moms. it's not really like you described at all.

    Answer by celticreverie at 7:43 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • yeah, i feel no need to defend myself. i am parentling my daughter the best way that I can and I am happy with the decisions that I have made in parenting my baby. i will always strive to improve myself as a person and a parent. before reading the answers above i didn't even know that attachment and non-attachment parenting even existed...ha ha!

    Answer by aly38914290 at 7:49 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • Because so many attachment parenting parents are judgmental and think their way is the only right way to do things. celticreverie's response to pringles is a perfect example of why we feel we need to defend ourselves.
    I personally don't want a clingy whiny 4 year old who can't do anything if he's not shoved up my butt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • What the hell? I wasn't degrading her for her choices at all! Many people who DON"T practice AP don't know what it is?! That is all, and that is the TRUTH. It's believed that we just hold our children all the time, etc, and they never cry, and grow up clingy and needy when that isn't what it is at all.

    Gah, Anon should NOT be allowed to post responses. It would keep idiots from posting.

    Answer by celticreverie at 8:11 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • Thank you for proving my point! ;)

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • I think most parents in general, in order to continue to think and feel better about what they have done and will continue to do, need to be very protective of how they choose to style their parenting methodologies. Attachment parenting fans do get defensive - especially when you talk about the potential negatives to co-sleeping. I'm neither pro or con when it comes to attachment parenting theories. There are some sound reasons to apply many attachment parenting techniques to your parenting tool box. Just as there are many good reasons to apply other parenting techniques. I do tend to agree though that parents who utilize AP techniques tend to be more flexible and able to go with the flow, tend to be more in tune with the environment. Not because it is their AP style that allows them. But I believe that more of those more flexable adults are attracted to that type of style.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

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