Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Oldest wants to live with father

My oldest son told me today that he wants to go live with his father who lives in CA I'm in NV. What should I do? Should I let him go?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Feb. 28, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • That's a decision that only you and his father can make. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • How old is he?

    Answer by mybabyjr at 8:27 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • consider his request. i wanted to live with my dad (1 mile away), and my mom never let me have a say. I was 16. It cause real problems with us, and I ended up not living with her shortly after she refused to listen to me.

    Answer by charisma10 at 9:19 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • talk to him and find out why he wants to live with his father. talk to him about how it would affect his siblings, etc. if you dont talk to him, i dont think you will know what is best for him. also, talk to his dad about it and find out what he thinks if it seems like something is going on......

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:38 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • Think it depends on why. If its because the kid just doesnt want to live by your rules, I'd say No. My son went to live w/ his dad & stepmom but it was a mutual decision with all of us. Things are working out great. He's the only child over there & so when he comes back here to see us, everyone seems to get along a lot better now because they aren't getting on each others nerves all the time anymore!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • When my son was 15 he wanted to live with his father also. I figured why should I get all the fun of a 15 year old boy? So I let him know I was okay with his decision. It worked out for us, as my son asked if he could come back home with me after a few months. Turns out living in California with dad wasn't all the fun he thought it was going to be.

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 10:42 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • why don't you have a talk with dad before saying anything too your son never know maybe dad don't have the time for him to be there or something hate for your son too get hopes up and then have dad say no

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • Is your sons father capable of raising your son? How old is your son? Depending on what your situation is, I would allow him to live with his dad. When I was 15 I wanted to live with my dad, I cold not stand my mom. I started to act out until my mom sent me to live with my dad in another state. I did well in school, was happy, never wanted to live with my mom again. My mom thought I would miss her and come home. The only thing is I felt my mom gave up on me. Good Luck


    Answer by mommiedear at 12:06 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • When I was Eleven I Moved From UT to NV to live with my dad i had to beg my mom to let me but i loved the whole experiance of it. It's highly possible that he justs wants to go somewhere new start fresh at a new school where no one knows him or will judge him for his past! thats part of why i moved and i surprisingly got higher grades made great friends and felt like i came into my own as an 11 yr old well as much as an 11 yr old can come into their own

    Answer by IamKayla at 1:30 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • My 15 year old son is throwing this very same thing around and I will NOT let him go. 1. Because suddenly he wants to be a grown up and make grown up choices like (chewing tobacco) and 2. His dad has never been supportive (without the help of his wife--which I get along with fine) He wouldnt have any more structure there that I am not trying to give him. Difference is... he wants to say "what" and "when". He can hate me now, and he can hate me later but he can never, ever say that I havent tried to do what is best for him, and I have never and will never give up on him.

    Answer by cksem at 8:13 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.